Twirl your life on the world, let them feel the pain.

It captures the twirling of body and mind in the rain that challenges both the search for meaning and also drives the pain of despair. The structure you have chosen also works very well for the subject and imagery. There are perhaps a few edits/line shortenings you might consider making and a couple of minor spellings: The angels shrieks heard (maybe piercing instead of heard?)across wide fields knowing, like me, what's going to be seen (perhaps "appear" rather than "be seen"?). Despair will reach and concur it all, (concur means agree and I think you mean "combine") Any kiss in the rain any flower living in its own vain (should be "vein" I think or if you do intend vain then it should be "vanity". It’s all going to end as fastly as a tornado can spin. (fastly is not a word and the line is slightly too long so it sticks a bit when you read. How about "Its all going to end fast as a tornado spins?" Looking out through the world i can see it all, all that will be or wont (how about "I can see all that is, or is to come"?) My wrath is going insane and it’s just a little girl during her play.(may be shorten "just a little girl absorbed by her play"?) as fangs sharpen and twirl in the rain feeling it all spinning in circles (perhaps "tearing hope and spinning in circles"?) See the cries and wounds in the glitter of the drops, (how about "Seeing cries and wounds in glittered drops??" I know (that) I’m the creator. The Kingdom thrives when i twirl… (When I twirl the Kingdom thrives?) Just a little girl in the rain… Twirling her dreams out (you have repeated twirl here and I wonder whether something like "Dancing out her dreams" might be better?) Hope this of some help. Best wishes Keith

I loved your poem ,and your imagination too. But I would like to know if you are agree with "Keith" explanations or not. Mona