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O
Orphani
Jun 25, 2010 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

unafraid to cry

when the blue sky nailed to the gold sun
gives its dry hope away
to summer's flower,
picked and loved
but once,

when I am a burning twig in the smolder
of your glances setting
let one rain
dedicate my life
to how such clouds were formed
taking us to the swings of children
unafraid to cry.





— Orphani, Jun 25, 2010
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Critiques

O

Orphani

16 years 1 month ago

I am grateful that my baby

I am grateful that my baby eyes still remember the earth, and sky, and rain of a woman's love. Bless all God's children, And you Annie. B
mona

mona

16 years ago

What can I say....AH

This poem refreshed my memories and I wish if I'm child again when the blue sky nailed to the gold sun gives its dry hope away to summer’s flower, picked and loved but once, when I am a burning twig in the smolder of your glances setting let one rain dedicate my life to how such clouds were formed taking us to the swings of children unafraid to cry. Go on and refresh peoples' feelings with your poems MONA
O

Orphani

16 years ago

I am an old fool, and the

I am an old fool, and the dust is close to my eyes, but the hearts of lovers, in life, makes all things new and unafraid. Your words are rain. B
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years ago

when the blue sky nailed to the gold sun

Ann of Norway This is so wonderful I have it haunting me, that line. This can be understood in many ways as all good poetry should be I think; indeed all good art that stirs the mind to awaken the senses to more than the face value. Love to you brother Barry from your sister Ann.
O

Orphani

16 years ago

Exactly right. To step out

Exactly right. To step out of the confinements of our skin and to be a dolphin in the play of water. It is ours to unfold, or spend the day at war with the crab grass and dandelion. You get it. You have always gotten it, and there is more in us, and in the moment, than is comprehensible. To live one moment in this enlightened truth is worth all the hours of the mundane motions of life's endeavors. Bowling excluded. Love B.
Seren

Seren

16 years ago

Dear B

I am speechless in the beauty of your words sorry to get here late been a little busy love and hugs to you both JayCee (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)
O

Orphani

16 years ago

I am hopefully evolving and

I am hopefully evolving and growing as a poet. To do so means growing as a person. Searching the self to strip away the bullshit of ego. To strip it all away and ask " does this work have some value to me; to others, and as an art form? Is there beauty, truth and an expression of life's experience that warrants my inflicting it on the world? I am starting to see my work in this way,but we are poets and we write; hopefully because we love it, as well as ourselves, in all our failures as well as our triumphs. Love and admiration B
seabhac

seabhac

16 years ago

For me the lines Ann speaks

For me the lines Ann speaks of touched me too. But also for me the window into your life in the words when I am a burning twig in the smolder of your glances setting the use of the word setting at the end of this brings such poignant thought and sadness to the whole poem. The shortness of life and love but one rain , just one is enough even in a whole lifetime... Thanks Barry Seabhac
O

Orphani

16 years ago

The moments thrown away make

The moments thrown away make a burning pile at life's end and love finally is all there is. To walk in the rain fearless in truth to oneself is to be free of times constraints. B
judyanne

judyanne

16 years ago

barry this is so beautiful

those first lines haunt me too i wish i'd thought of them love judy xxx http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TwentyMyPrettyPonies.html
O

Orphani

16 years ago

It’s, funny because I

It's, funny because I first thought that the sun should be nailed to the sky,but the sun is dominant and defines the sky's aspect so I couldn't. Sun and sky are inseparable but rain is the element that renews the bond of life almost as an after thought. To me it is very symbolic of love. Thanks for reading my work. B

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