Mess

I cant stand to hear your name
and be expected to act ok.
Going back would be a dream
never saying a word and just going on
but it hasnt been long and you've already moved on
i dont even know why i tried so hard.
I used to shake being so excited
but now i dont.
I sit and wait around like some freak
by the phone just waiting for a text or call
and when you dont reply i go out of my mind
and its my fault, it all is.
It's cause im afraid of it.
Of being with you and having some one care
Of my hand being held
that you'll just walk away and laugh
at me, at the mess i can be.
But im tired of this
i want to move on get over you
and everything you do.
I want to be mad
pick up the phone and just scream
at anybody, probably you.
But i cant cause thats the mess i am.