Race_9togo

Jun 24, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Night River Haiku

Night birds float, dancing
silhouettes dark on water
mirrored in starlight.

Water black with night
holds the full moon, rippled by
small creatures swimming.

Dark pools gleam between
rippling rafts of stars and
unseen touch of fish.

Ancient willows dip
old branches into water,
trailing shadows' gloom.

Night winds ruffling,
reflections of city lights
hung quiet in the dark.

Tall reeds sway in breeze,
behind a grace of gray heron
poised in silent hunt.

River's rush of sound,
slow music from the darkness
wreathed in lilac scent.

— Race_9togo, Jun 24, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Earth Vicinity (within a five light-year radius), ZZC

Favorite Poets: John Donne, T.S. Eliot, Serendipity, Emily Dickenson, Kailashana, Charles Bukowski, Kabir, Rett, Dalton, W. B. Yeats, William Blake, Rainer Maria Rilke, and many other Neopoet poets; Neopoet has heavily influenced my poetry and my ability to write it well.

Critiques

greeneyes

15 years 11 months ago

I love haikus

These were really good! Beautiful!

Race_9togo

15 years 11 months ago

Thanks Green Eyes

I don't do Japanese forms very often, but it's been in my mind that I should, hence these. Thanks again. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

greeneyes

15 years 11 months ago

it is a difficult form of

it is a difficult form of poetry, you did it well.

Candlewitch

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Jim

Your string of haiku all go brilliantly together. Love the imagery, almost painted with a brush. Always, Cat

Race_9togo

15 years 11 months ago

Thanks Cat,

I wrote them all over a 5-day period, traveling down the Kankakee river while fishing, and at the end they all just seemed to fit together. Glad that you enjoyed them. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

Professor Purple

15 years 11 months ago

Beautiful!

I can't decide which stanza is my favourite, but it's either, 1, 2, or 7. Antoine

Race_9togo

15 years 11 months ago

Thanks Antoine,

They were all separate haiku, individual poems in their own right, but they fit together so well. I had a hard time with them for a while, because they were a mix of haiku and senru, so I had to rework a couple to take out the human stuff, LOL, which is quite difficult. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

Seren

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Jim

You have outdone yourself ... beautiful Haiku ... well done love and hugs JayCee p.s your write is coming along but that rhyme scheme is doing my head in ... but I am not going to let it beat me lol smile (Quote~~"It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. "--Charles Baudelaire)

Race_9togo

15 years 11 months ago

Thanks Jayne.

LOL doing your head in, huh? Well don't worry about it, just take your time, neither of us is in a race! Glad you like my haiku so much - is it haiku, or haikus? lol I have no idea, myself. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

Arrow

15 years 11 months ago

I don't know enough about haiku

to critique form but did enjoy all these, individually and as a whole. So vivid you can see it and hear it. I like these so much I think I'll nominate.

Race_9togo

15 years 11 months ago

Thanks Arrow

Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

barbsdad2003

15 years 11 months ago

Nicely wrought, Jim;

however, sillouettes is a misspelling, needs fixin', far as I'm concerned. And the plural of haiku is haiku. Don't say sheeps for sheep ... and don't haikus for haiku. Don't trust me: Check it out. (The title needs to read Night River Haiku to be anatomically---er, I mean dictionarily---correct.) As far as structure, flow, craftiness of your write? Very impressive. Kudos. You've got a great handle here on the form. Chuck

Race_9togo

15 years 11 months ago

LOL

Thanks Chuck, Changed and changed! Glad that you enjoyed them. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

Marie-I-Be

15 years 11 months ago

Excellent ...

... in form, substance, character, sense, imagery, nature, beauty. You're still misspelling that word, though! It's not "sillouettes" and it's not "silouettes." It's silhouettes!

Race_9togo

15 years 11 months ago

LMAO

THAT'S IIIITTTTT!!!! I ain't changing it again! LOL Thanks Marie, I THINK I got it right this time. Glad you enjoyed these. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race