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Emptiness

 

Yesterday’s sorrow adds up

And spills into tomorrow

The day is shrinking

And I’m still thinking

That nothing

Is ever good enough

 

So I look at the birds

All the pretty birds

Stretched so thin

Take my mind off

This emptiness

 

My insides are sad and lonely

And they can not be filled

My head is aching, my bones are shaking

And my skin is crawling with the chills

 

I pour myself another drink

And eat off an empty plate

My will is dying, my mind is lying

I didn’t lose any weight

 

So I look at the birds

All the pretty birds

Stretched so thin

Take my mind off

This emptiness

— Natania, Jun 24, 2010

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xena465

xena465

15 years 11 months ago

This is so sad...

But beautiful too. Can I make a suggestion? With these lines... So I look at the birds At their beautiful wings ..........Rather than use birds twice. Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell
N

Natania

15 years 11 months ago

thank you

That does sound better I think than repeating birds again. Thanks :)
Roscoe Lane

Roscoe Lane

15 years 11 months ago

Please,

your words have a beauty in themselves, and your poem is excellent. Just one suggestion, I would say. Takes or taking, rather than Take my mind of things. Hope this helps, Regards Roscoe..
N

Natania

15 years 11 months ago

thanks :)

Yeah I was thinking takes might work better.
R

reepa

15 years 11 months ago

SO SAD

There is beauty in sadness.