Going Around In A Circle

No one is right and no one is wrong why keep stirring the pain along love judy xxx http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TwentyMyPrettyPonies.html

on 2.6, do you mean "lessen the burn"? Loved that ending, like Judy. Kelsey "In criticism I will be bold, and as sternly, absolutely just with friend and foe. From this purpose nothing shall turn me." -Edgar Allan Poe "If technique is of no interest to a writer, I doubt that the writer is an artist." -Marianne Moore

Dear Mona, there is a lesson to all here, so thats wonderful. much love shirley harrison

Here here ... lessons for everyone in this one love and big hugs JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

Good stuff love lou xx

Like the last stanza in particular; Try to see it in another’s way fiind your goals for a better day ( did you mean find ? ) For the merry go round of life there’s no more need for endless strife No one is right and no one is wrong why keep stirring the pain along. Love Mand xxxx

this is a nice read my friend, I really like the lines For it’s time to let go of some pride Lest we run, run off and hide pride is such a powerful thing, I have seen it destroy people's lives because they had so much pride they just couldn't let something go, couldn't say they were wrong. very nice read indeed You can never pick anyone up if you are busy putting them down

First of all, I am not an expert on writing. I do believe I have some talent though. ( many may disagree though, if you look at the number of comments I get! lol) when I do a review of someone’s work, and I mean, really get into it and try to help, it takes me a long time. I do enjoy trying to help people that really want to learn and expand. You might tell me I’m full of crap, but ignore what I say by no comment at all ( will most certainly cause me to not try and give any future constructive critique at all). I welcome any response..just give one! Whether you agree or not, I want to know a person has at least given it consideration and I have not wasted my time. I have read some of your work. I think you have some very good ideas. I believe, however, you need to take more time with your poetry to see that it reads more smoothly and the ideas are consistant. Keep your ideas together. Example: In the 1st verse of this poem, I feel you jump into the beginning of a new thought on the last two lines. Expand those in a new stanza. Also: Your subject is serious, use words that support it, I don’t like the line ‘with all this clowning around’ that makes me think of levity, and the goings on have not been funny. Your message is not a joking one. I Think there are words you can leave out to make the idea more concise or give more impact… Example just using your 1st verse Going around in circles On the merry-go-round of life Now is the time; Let go of pride Lest all choose to get off and run The way I read, and I could be totally off, but, I get a limericky (lol? sp) feel in the rhythm. … if that is your target, stay consistent with it. The last 2 lines, again to me, throw that balance of the poem and if you notice the syllable count per lines are varying quite a bit in some of the lines. Try and avoid the redundancy of your stanzas. It seems several of them are basically saying the same thing, just worded differently. Terrific ideology! We all need to be reminded of respecting others points of view. Very Sincerely, Tonya

timely write using much gentler phrasing than I probably would have used lol!Seems as if repeating first line twice in a row calls for starting all verses with it.Believe reusing line only twice just works if used as first line in a beginning and ending verse.Now everybody is probably inform me of numerous examples of this not being so ha!ha!have a great day........scribbler

There's great advice and wisdom in this write...well done. Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell

on your own than to get slung off. LOL. Take Care. huey

I wasn't talking about anyone person. I was talking about me and everyone on that Merry -go-round. I'm sorry if you took it personal. You are a peace maker. But not afraid to speak you mind. So you have my upmost respect. Take Care and have a Great TGIF.huey

There is much truth here. I like how sincere you are and that you, too are a peace maker. Enjoyed your wonderful poem. Faith ~I never say anything I don't mean nor do I say anything to be mean.~

Hi, Mona! Thanks again! Love back atcha! Faith ~I never say anything I don't mean nor do I say anything to be mean.~