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Professor Purple
Professor Purple
Jun 22, 2010 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

AN EVIL HOUSE

This house is haunted, foul, cursed,

Within, dark spirits dwell,

For ages, near the poisoned well,

Their evil plots they’ve nursed

 

Inside this wretched manse there lurks

A tortured, vengeful ghost,

A guest who jumped cliff off the coast

Now does his ghastly works

 

On full moon nights, the evil blooms,

Electrifies the air,

Travelers are caught in a snare

Then sent to many dooms

 

Past visitors left not a trace

Of even being near

So my friends, let me make this clear,

Leave this haunted place!

— Professor Purple, Jun 22, 2010

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Country/Region: CAN

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Critiques

xena465

xena465

16 years 1 month ago

Wow Professor

This is great. I love ghosts and haunted places, as long as I'm watching them from a movie, or reading from a poem...Fabulous Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell
LZ

Lil Z

16 years 1 month ago

Great poem indeed!

I agree with the previous comments, this poem is very well written, brilliant job!
judyanne

judyanne

16 years 1 month ago

love this antoine

the rhyming pattern is different to what i'm used to, and it worked well imo in 'spooking' up the write love judy xxx http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TwentyMyPrettyPonies.html
Professor Purple

Professor Purple

16 years 1 month ago

Thank you all for your

Thank you all for your feedback. Judyanne, this is a poem whose first line or two, and the last line, have, uh, well haunted me for several months. Just recently, when I decide to get it on screen, did I realize it goes 8;6;8;6, and also ABBA CDDC... When that happens I use the pattern I have, even if I don't know what to call it. Antoine
S

scribbler

16 years 1 month ago

house

haunted house and not even October! thoroughly enjoyable read.In line 1 try omitting "it is".Line 7 could be clarified by changing "clear" to "cliff".just a few thoughts which are like #ssholes.........scribbler
Seren

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Dear Antoine

Nice work I agree with Judd on the rhyme scheme giving more depth to the spooking love and hugs JayCee (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)
Professor Purple

Professor Purple

16 years 1 month ago

Thank you all! Scribbler,

Thank you all! Scribbler, your suggestions have been adopted. Thank you for them. It's never to early for ghosts. Halloween? Come on, they dress like rock stars, faeries and robots now. I'm uncertain about "foul" in terms of rhythm. I intend for it to be pronounced "FAH-wul" (sorta), two syllables, what does everyone think? Antoine
A

Atticus

16 years 1 month ago

Great story and well told.

Great story and well told. After seeing the Alice Cooper reference on a previous write I have to wonder what inspired this one. best, Nathaniel
Professor Purple

Professor Purple

16 years 1 month ago

I can’t really say, I

I can't really say, I guess the sources are numerous for this one. The other one is actually newer, but this one came back up since I worked on it. Thanks, Antoine
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years ago

Dear P. Puple

I just adore a haunted theme! I Love those dark poems. My favorite lines: On full moon nights, the evil blooms, Electrifies the air, Travelers are caught in a snare Then sent to many dooms Past visitors left not a trace Of even being near So my friends, let me make this clear, Leave this haunted place! Always, Cat

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