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Waiting For Water

Torrid heat is climbing
shimmered air stained windless
green leaves limp in breathlessness
gray branches drooping
humid air beading
on ice-cold curve of glinting glass
slow drops sparkling as they roll aimless
down a dark and sun-brewed sweetness
of waiting, tall iced tea.

Metal frame is burning,
deckchair long bereft of coolness
makes skin shrink from searing fierceness
before limbs lazing
in sunlight blazing
relax from sudden start of shock
and fall back into the boneless-ness
wrought by beating sun relentless
in empty summer sky.

Limp garden is wilting
impatient beneath the cloudlessness
of days grown dry with blue aridness
humidity sapping
every plant gasping
in a thirst for rainbow water
sprayed cool on fading leaves so luckless
in the grasp of days as rainless
as ancient desert sands.

Heated thoughts are lazing
through another summer day so endless
every overheated muscle’s tiredness
one more thing preventing
limbs from even moving
chair and ice-cold tea into the shadows
of the old walnut tree’s cool darkness
to await the coming welcomed wetness
of another summer storm.
— Race_9togo, Jun 22, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Earth Vicinity (within a five light-year radius), ZZC

Favorite Poets: John Donne, T.S. Eliot, Serendipity, Emily Dickenson, Kailashana, Charles Bukowski, Kabir, Rett, Dalton, W. B. Yeats, William Blake, Rainer Maria Rilke, and many other Neopoet poets; Neopoet has heavily influenced my poetry and my ability to write it well.

More from this author

Critiques

xena465

xena465

15 years 11 months ago

Wonderful Race

Very stormy...I love it...and so very well written. Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell
Race_9togo

Race_9togo

15 years 11 months ago

Thanks Green Eyes,

It delights me that you did. Good to see you visiting my work again! Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race
Seren

Seren

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Jim

Its got an off beat rhythm this one but i liked it I might offer one suggestion in the morning if you like ? only one line I have issue with ... I have a list I have to catch up on lol things ive missed but I really loved this one the heat comes across in the layering will make the suggestion once I get the fix right in my mind love and hugs JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)
Race_9togo

Race_9togo

15 years 11 months ago

Jayne

Thanks hun. Yes I like, yes please. You know, I'm gonna hold you to it - I need some help on this one, I'm not entirely happy with it. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race
Seren

Seren

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Jim

I am actually not busy for a change tonight so I am planning after dinner to get a few edits done and making some suggestions for people .. I just copied this one and I am going to edit it and write it again as if I wrote it lol yep I like it that much ... I find when people do that for me I see other ways that lines can run ... so I am going to have a play with this one love and big hugs KayCee (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)
Race_9togo

Race_9togo

15 years 11 months ago

Cool,

But try to keep the rhyme scheme if you can - AbbAA*bb* '*' can be anything. I'm experimenting with rhyme because I am not very good at it, so I would like to try and keep this scheme, as it forces me into its constraints, you know? Anything else is fair game, heehee. Thanks Jayne, Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race
Seren

Seren

15 years 11 months ago

its good practice for me as

its good practice for me as well not a rhyme scheme ive worked with before just give me a day or two and I will post my rewrite, and your welcome, smiles love and hugs JayCee (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)