Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

In for the moment



her eyes shine with light
the ward is bright
the beds two to a room

"I miss you" she speaks
sitting beside him
Hes staring past the
mesh screens down
to the well kept lawns
the small pine trees
stretching away to
the tree line

"I miss you"  he echos
all of this has changed
the ward  the feel

He remembers the
trestle  the smell of
the ties  the water
alive and shinning
below

her hair clip holds back
a bang

"hows your mother"
how many moments
has he fallen
left them

here this safe vantage
point full of sun
moonlight
full of others out
past the edge

"she's fine"

he sips the coffee
with shakey hands
that she has carefully
brought all this way
on the bus up the highway
to the Hospital

they sit like this
through the thick
and now the thin

she takes him off ward
down to the canteen
he follows at ease

the sadness burning off
like a mist come daybreak
the dusk sun filling up
the halls

at night he dreams of
the trestle and of wolves
drinking from the stream
below

she is standing with
moonlight in her
hair like a halo

— Esker, Jun 21, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: north ontario, CAN

Favorite Poets: Klo , .., Ida, .., Rhiannon1010, .., Pleiades, .., Valryianne, .., Ester, .., Stephanie, .., Emina Smajevic, ..., Elefentee, ..., Sommer Lyn, ..., Jasmine, ..., Rula, ...

More from this author

Critiques

B

bunnymug

15 years 11 months ago

tears...

not too far "out past the edge", i hope...
Esker

Esker

15 years 11 months ago

turn point

turn basin would be more the reference I would hope for off meds off sobriety and off line sometimes vague memories of that time some specific others not so still here writing though I always enjoy your words Bunnymug I still love your Poem COMMUTE
P

pleiades

15 years 11 months ago

“he sips the coffeewith

"he sips the coffee with shakey hands that she has carefully brought all this way on the bus up the highway to the Hospital" i'd suggest having line 2 as the first or last line [with shakey hands,] he sips the coffee that she has carefully brought all this way on the bus up the highway to the hospital, [with shakey hands] what a write! this read like an opening scene of a movie the moments of attention to detail in this, make it so tangible...so human the 2 characters in this are very real...in a few stanzas, you have written them well the reader gets a very real sense of their immediate feelings the entire scenario is completely believable your last 3 stanzas are painfully beautiful i found myself feeling for both these characters big claps from me i love this kind of slice of life writing from you p
Esker

Esker

15 years 11 months ago

this was real

that was me sometimes you cant make this stuff up Im glad you appreciated that you liked this poem and took all this careful time to write it out so Thats the great benifit of comment on these poetry Why I love Neopoet and why I enjoy writing for an audience that responds so in depth and with such clarity Thank you Pleaides I enjoy writing for you
A

anonymous1

15 years 11 months ago

Yes, slice of life is it exactly.

I've lived this scene. I was the one with the coffee. What you dredge up with your words is akin to regret. Thanks? Lisa
Seren

Seren

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Steven

Slice of life indeed ... wonderful poem my friend you just get better love and big hugs JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)