Seren

Jun 21, 2010 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

Bleeding out the Pain

as you took a step to leave,
I started wiping the blood
that began streaming from my eyes

with this separation,
I bleed you out

scaling my nerves
on a whisper of echos,
I watch you disappear

consumed in a deluge,
my heart thumps out
every single drop
I possess

I am a bloodless corpse
devoid of life

but I am more alive
than I have ever been

— Seren, Jun 21, 2010

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

Geezer

16 years 1 month ago

Bleeding out...

I couldn't help but identify with this poem. you put it into words that resonated with my heart. There are some people that are very hard to let go, even though we will be better off without them. Feeling deflated and drained, you begin to fill yourself with new hopes and dreams, slowly inflating with the better things in life. At least that was my take. ~ Love ya, higgest bugs, ~ Gee

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Dearest Gee

thanks for the comment I think sometimes we all feel like this with people ... this is about someone from a long time ago i wrote it ages ago and and then decided to finish it the other day love and hugs JayCee (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

judyanne

16 years 1 month ago

yes, great write jc

take your usual bow aussie girl love judd xxxx http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TwentyMyPrettyPonies.html

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Dear Judd

lol hugs thanks for the visit and the read i am just about to go read you actually lol curtsey lol hugs across the nulla love JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

Lonnie

16 years 1 month ago

Fantastic Theme!

My only quibble is with line three, I believe "begun" should be changed to "began", which would read better! Other than that, this is a great piece of work from a lady who never fails to deliver the goods! Kudos!

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Dear Lonnie

Your a treasure i have been so tired the last couple of days and I keep missing silly little things I looked at that last night and thought began lol but II forgot lol thanks for picking that up for me I really appreciated it love and hugs to you both JayCee x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

lou

16 years 1 month ago

JayCee

Excuse the pun, but I feel drained,its so full of pain. love lou xx

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Dear Lou

I went through more pain than should be allowed with this person ... your right its full of pain and purging spot on and the pun was a good one though lol love and hugs JayCee (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

xena465

16 years 1 month ago

Super JayCee

You have your very own vampire, how lucky are you? I am a bloodless corpse devoid of life but I am more alive than I have ever been Wonderful play with words...I love it. Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Dear Xena

thanks so much for the comment that play on words was intention meaning to bring life and purpose back into what seemed to be a lifeless body love and hugs JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

scribbler

16 years 1 month ago

pain

Damn! Lonnie beat me to it!Good as usual........scribbler

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

LOL thanks Stan

I often smile at your messages lol yup Lonnie beat you to this one lol and its fixed now thanks for the read I will be visiting you shortly love and big hugs JayCee (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

greeneyes

16 years 1 month ago

Took my breath away and

Took my breath away and tugged at my heart, Love, Elizabeth

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Dear Elziabeth

thank you is all I can say your ever supportive I appreciate it love and hugs JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

mand

16 years 1 month ago

An intense and powerful

An intense and powerful write Seren, really hits the point home. Well done. Love Mand xxxx

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Dear Mand

Thanks for the read this is an old hurt but it never goes away I appreciate the read and the comment love and hugs JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

magics02

16 years 1 month ago

I really like this JC

I feel this poem and know it is written very well my lady friend. Good job, emotions felt here also with this one. Love and Peace at ya Mona xoxox

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Dear Mona

Thanks so much for the read hun I really appreciate it very much ... you take care and have a good week at work love and big hugs JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

Candlewitch

16 years 1 month ago

Dear Jayne

I am a bloodless corpse devoid of life but I am more alive than I have ever been It is those experiences that strip us to the bone that intensify our lives. I understand completely. Love, Cat

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Dear Cat

You've always been able to grasp the messages I try and put over ... and thats exactly what this ones about ... stripped of the Grey the world becomes technicolour thanks for the read and the comment hun appreciate it love and big hugs JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

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