Birthdays

Birthday wishes, dandy cakes, all lined up as family fakes

Happy, Happy is what they wish, for this moment, then amiss

Packages, brightly wrapped, out from wallets already tapped

Candles, candles, way too bright, one too many, but that’s alright

Gatherings just once a year, bringing thoughts of tempered cheer

Balloons, balloons hang about, left by guests to be thrown out

Streamers, blowers, geared for fun, not so fun for everyone

Celebrating, just once more, counting backwards from 44

— jamadarie, Jun 20, 2010

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Critiques

magics02

15 years 11 months ago

Just lovely here also

Hello again lady friend This one flows great and I love the wording, however just a feedback on it from me if you do not mind. I would do away with the caps at the beginning of every line and I would format it to flow better as in breaking down your lines a bit. I know you did not ask for any crit so I apologize if this greets you in a way that is not becoming, I am only here to read and make note and help along the way the best way I can. Again it is your poem and it is very nice with a couple format changes and the things I noted it would read and flow just great Love Mona