Neopoet

Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

jetz
jetz
Jun 19, 2010 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

Perfection

Perfection

If I were perfection
would we still be us

Would my brilliance
bedazzle you

Would we still
long and lust

If I were perfection
I'd no longer be me

Who's to say that's
a bad thing

Tell me
who should I be

If I were perfection..

yah....fuck that...
ain't happening.

 

  for you Patrick...my love.
 

— jetz, Jun 19, 2010

About the Author

Region, Country: South eastern Connecticut, USA

More from this author

Critiques

jetz

jetz

16 years 1 month ago

Glad it made you ROR (raff

Glad it made you ROR (raff out roud!) I was in a mood that night, can you tell? Thanks for taking the time to read and respond. Sue
Seren

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Dear Sue

I can only smile and say Bravo love JayCee (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)
jetz

jetz

16 years 1 month ago

Hi Seren, You have to

Hi Seren, You have to admit, it was a change from the norm around here. Thanks for responding. Sue
Race_9togo

Race_9togo

16 years 1 month ago

PERFECT

LMAO Just kidding....but its bloody good. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race
jetz

jetz

16 years 1 month ago

Hi Jim, It’s good to see

Hi Jim, It's good to see others share my warped sense of humor, including some disguised as poetry. Thanks for the read and response. Sue
jetz

jetz

16 years 1 month ago

Yah…I got nothing!!!!I’m

Yah...I got nothing!!!! I'm not as dumb as I look, eh?? always a pleasure to see you responding dear...play nice! love, me
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 1 month ago

Hi Sue

Very sweet, clever (and funny at the end) Loved it. Always, Cat
jetz

jetz

16 years 1 month ago

Hi Cat, Glad you enjoyed

Hi Cat, Glad you enjoyed it . This was one that could have gone a couple of ways. This ending was the best, in my opinion. Thanks for taking the time to reply. Sue
xena465

xena465

16 years 1 month ago

Ha, ha, Sue

You surprised me with the ending. I thought you were going soft for a moment...Brilliant. Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell
jetz

jetz

16 years ago

Xena…..me soft???

Xena.....me soft??? Haaaaaaaaaa, neva !!!!! Thanks for the read and response. Sue
jetz

jetz

16 years ago

Smiling here Huey… Glad

Smiling here Huey... Glad it made you smile too. I had two other endings to this and both of them, I knew, Indi would call "Hallmarkish." I felt the same way. A tad too cliche, and not the mood I was going for. THIS..is me!!! (hush Patrick!!!) Thanks for the response. Sue

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.

Join free Log in