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Seren

Jun 19, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

A slowing river still runs deep

All I did was blink
and suddenly frail and forgetful
had stolen the vibrancy
I’d taken for granted.

Your look still bears that familiar smile
which sparks an ebbing life
and brightens dimming eyes.
But when you think
no one’s watching,

I am...

as this consumptive malaise
pervades your sagging face
and spirits you off for poppy naps,
the flickering star-light fades,
I watch your mouth turn down
In that soft dreamtime curve
and my heart cries the river
that floats you on eddies
of timeless sleep

I know a day will come
our connection will be broken
your star gaze will not return
and I’ll cry a new empty ocean.

But until then,
in sleep’s folded caress
a slow river runs calm,
its watery fingers polish
the unforgettable shine
on the touchstone
of my love,

hoping its undying spark
reawakens you.

— Seren, Jun 19, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

More from this author

Critiques

C

CyberSpace

15 years 11 months ago

beautiful thoughts of your

beautiful thoughts of your dad, always a daddys girl but I love you for it xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

15 years 11 months ago

thats me ever a daddys girl

thats me ever a daddys girl ... shattered and I am coming to bed have fun if you stay and play here love and hugs xoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxox (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

SH

shirley harrison

15 years 11 months ago

"truly beautiful"

JC, you have the most wonderful skills for writing, this is so special i Wanted to find a stanza more special but they are all the ending of this poem is just perfect! Ah i bow to you! much love shirley harrison

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Shirley

thanks for the read of this one ... I wrote it and then I gave it to keith(prof) he did an edit and then I did another one so this is a collaboration of two edits ... I enjoy writing with Keith he was my first unoffical mentor ... and anything he offers listen intently ;) hes one of the reasons I write as well as I do now love and big hugs JayCee (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Jayne

The beauty of this piece runs deep as does the passion and love. Peace to your father... Love, Cat

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Cat

My Dads has had Prostate Cancer since 06 the other day he was visiting and went on the nod as we call it ... after he left I wrote this thanks for the lovely comment hes a good man my dad love and big hugs JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

15 years 11 months ago

no gaurantees

love Love so uncontrolled one has to let it be which is so frustrating sometimes "if you love something set it free" I remember that on a poster in grade seven Love your poem in its hopefulness and willingness to just believe that faith and Love will carry the connection Esker~

15 years 11 months ago

Steven

your comment is so insightful made my heart cry and its true there is a hopefullness that believing that I carry with faith and love into the ether I guess love and big hugs JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

DD

diana duncan

15 years 11 months ago

Slowing river

Lovely sensitive lines, Seren. You reveal how much you care :-)

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Diana

thanks for the comment ... and I do care very much love and hugs JayCee (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

Beauregard

15 years 11 months ago

Lovely Jayne,

I see that your father is a sensitive subject for you to write about. So I will bring my two tiny little crits at a later date. The depth and care and love in this piece is astoundingly beautiful. Kelsey "In criticism I will be bold, and as sternly, absolutely just with friend and foe. From this purpose nothing shall turn me." -Edgar Allan Poe

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Kels

thanks for the read my Dad had me late in life and I have always been close to him hes 81 and hes battled prostate cancer for the last few years hes a battler will look forward to those suggestions in the future love and big hugs JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

R

15 years 11 months ago

Dear JayCee

i have no comments to make except... i knew not what to expect when i read the title...by the time i ran its course i was touched by the waters and the ebb and flow of this river and its depths... warm hugs....raj (sublime_ocean)...

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Raj

I loved your comment so much thank you for the touching commentary ... really make me smile this morning love and big hugs JayCee (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

15 years 11 months ago

Professor Purple

I noticed you left a comment here last night but today its disappeared I just want to thank you anyway no matter I appreciate your thoughts and the read love and hugs JayCee (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

A

15 years 11 months ago

Ouch.

I hate to remember but would hate more to forget. "and I’ll cry a new empty ocean." Yes. Thanks for being a companion in the dusk.

15 years 11 months ago

To forget would be profane

To forget would be profane ... thank you so much for the visit and the comment us dusk dwellers are thin on the ground love JayCee (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

15 years 11 months ago

Even in old age their smile

Even in old age their smile lights up the face of past memories and of who they are inside. Lovely write Seren. Love Mand xxx

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Mand

thanks so much for the beautiful comment much appreciated they do still light up no matter how old ,,, my dad still has sparkle he goes to gym and walking with a group twice a week hes a old champion at 81 love and big hugs JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

15 years 11 months ago

ur metaphors

.... take my heart away once i had to ask some poet whats it a metaphor for??? he laughed and said BEDDING PARTNERS A THOUGHT COMES TO MY MIND WHY DOES CHEATING WHICH IS CONSIDERED AS A CRIME DOESN'T JELL WITH CRIME. WE ALL LOVE TO SHARPEN PENISES AND INFLATE VAGINA'S BUT WHEN WE DO IT ILLEGALLY , WHY DOESN'T IT GRANT US ANGINA.? WHAT IS CHEATING BUT A SPICE OF LIFE, A HUBBY WANTS IT SO DOES A WIFE . BUT TAKE CARE CONDOMS DON'T DECLARE HIV AND AIDS ARE FREE AND NEW GENES IN THE NEW BORN MAY PRODUCE CHILDREN WITH DIFFERENT AIR AND WHAT YOU WANTED WAS JUST AN HEIR WHO HASN'T ONE BIT OF YOUR SEEDED HAIR.TACT FUL for bluntly saying ur a DOPE Just say ur naive . after a millenia i learnt why every one continued to say come on ur naive meaning bluntly dope that tact i learnt much later but i'm still naive can't apply it for i still don't know yes why do u laugh what for or phor..... never mind i don't want to know anymore whats a metafor phor Now i also know why a lady poetess here said perhaps i don't know much of English perhaps she was right and gave up reading my poetry . no metaphor why read poetry one can't scratch ones head meta... oh forget it....

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Loved

thanks for the comment glad you liked it I think lol love JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

15 years 11 months ago

sure i did

i give five star for creativity but feel awkward giving you you deserve five00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 millions to the power of five 5555555555555

15 years 11 months ago

Five million to the power of five lol

my brains not up to the math tonight but thanks lol big smile love JayCee x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

15 years 11 months ago

don't worry

even i don't know how many zeros to a 100 so its ok in poetic language it means gr8888888888888888888888888888888888888est of gr8888888888888 a poem for someone as a blog i write so many but neopoets wants to hold it............... I am reading your lovely words after a long time where in the woods of imagination have you shrouded your-self each cloud i searched but alas in vain now you emerge as it is about to rain welcome once again love to be read and read you now is like lovely pain....

R

R.M.Shanmugam

15 years 11 months ago

vividly pictured supported

vividly pictured supported by sentiments and skills. i am fortunate my poem benign neglect could beget another poem from you. shan

15 years 11 months ago

This isnt the first poem you

This isnt the first poem you have inspired lol but the first I felt good enough to show you love and big hugs JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

S

15 years 11 months ago

late

too late to say anything not already said lol!Enjoyed very much......scribbler

15 years 11 months ago

Dear Stan

Then I shall just curtsey lol hahaha thanks for the visit Stan .. and thanks for the laughs you are a great one to have around always a smile lol love and big hugs JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

yenti

15 years 11 months ago

JC

What can I say about the lines:- I know a day will come our connection will be broken your star gaze will not return and I’ll cry a new empty ocean The link will never be broken all you will need to do is think and there with you will be a full Ocean with a beautiful sailing boat waiting to greet you, there will stand a man that love will hold always so close, There has been much talk from ages past that many great ones have said "Just whisper my name and I will stand by your side", As you know I have many recordings of where ever and I fear not to walk this path and what I will be when this cloth is taken from me, You wrote a lovely piece there JC just believe in what you really know and you will feel a gentleness, Yours Ian.T

15 years 11 months ago

Dearest Ian

When I say connection I mean the physical one ... the connection can never be broken for I carry my Dad in the very blood that flows in my veins ... I believe when they are gone its our job the children to carry our parents forward and I will as long as my steps find their bend love and big hugs JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

yenti

15 years 11 months ago

Yes

I should have talked on the physical contact which we will miss untill we meet again where ever, this is the one legacy that living here is hardest to overcome, but rest assured that the love and being when that meeting takes place will make it shrink into oblivion, but we have to be strong in that knowledge, I have noticed over the years that the image though it fades a little there are some special times that stay, then the physical is taken over by an image of such love that can never change, you wrote it beautifully as always, Yours Ian.T

15 years 11 months ago

My mother has been gone 13yrs

that pain dulls with time but never leaves so I try to think of the good times we had and not all the sadness I am sure she wouldnt want me grieving forever ... we will see each other again ... just not in this life but maybe the next ;) love and big hugs JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)

Professor Purple

Professor Purple

15 years 11 months ago

Yeah my comment vanished! I

Yeah my comment vanished! I was basically just saying how great it is. A very sad read, thank you for sharing it! Antoine

15 years 11 months ago

Yeah it was weird i saw it

Yeah it was weird i saw it there and when I went to comment it had vanished lol I was a little confused thats why I put a message there for you anyway lol love and hugs Jaycee (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)