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darling dash, love lily


she breezed in one day
carried on the promise
of life extraordinaire

she wore  bravado
as casually as one would a shawl,
slung about her shoulders with abandon
and the passion of flamenco.

I found her a puzzle-
a rubics cube
where the parts of her sum
were forever moving,
changing the game.

her eyes spoke in tongues 
and the pulse at the base of her throat
was a mystery

her starfish hands
grabbed hold of my heart
and with mercury running,
made off with my breath
and my will

she showed me the soul of the blues singer
and the meaning of sisterhood

I found the love between women

I threw off my everyday skin
and became a warrior-
an Amazonian warrior
who would burn off her right breast
to better wield her bow

we danced naked in the night sky
and our laughter sent the stars tumbling

she left one day
leaving behind
a black lycra cat-suit

(never to be returned)

a painting of our moment in time,

and the knowlege
of having made a difference


.

.
— pleiades, Jun 18, 2010

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Critiques

Kailashana

Kailashana

15 years 11 months ago

Simply sublime, p! “who

Simply sublime, p! "who would burn off her right breast to better wield her bow", just one of the exquiste lines, images you have forever burned into my heart. commoanality folklore a woman stalks city streets whips commonality into submission, somewhere a painting melts pools at her feet, she is a star amoung gazers, razor sharp she slices through immortality, arrows attending her arc. ~ The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. ~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
P

pleiades

15 years 11 months ago

i remember reading

i remember reading somewhere, years ago, that the amazons burnt off their right breast to indeed, better wield their bow other reports say they cut it off (i think i'd opt for poison darts... i'm rather fond of my jiggly bits) it's a piece of information that has always stayed with me wonderful comments many thanks p
Beauregard

Beauregard

15 years 11 months ago

P.,

mhmm lycra. That's all I'm going to say. LOL. My favorite lines are, "the parts of her sum/ were forever moving..." I loved the whole thing though and can really appreciate the Amazonian bow-efficiency thing in particular (being a nerd/dork/geek, I take pleasure in all things historic, scientific, or mathematic, or at least pseudo-historic/scientific/mathematic). Profound, evocative, and leaves the reader with a bittersweet taste on the tongue. rubics--> rubiks :) Kelsey "In criticism I will be bold, and as sternly, absolutely just with friend and foe. From this purpose nothing shall turn me." -Edgar Allan Poe
P

pleiades

15 years 11 months ago

re amazonian bow

re amazonian bow thing...read above response mhmm lycra? why kelsey!...(that's all I'M going to say) thanks for the rubiks pick-up, and the great comments cheers p
Seren

Seren

15 years 11 months ago

Dearest P

I think this is my new favourite of all your poetry... there is a lightness and passion laying between each word brava ... I cannot correct perfection in my eyes beautifully done love and hugs JayCee ("Quote:-For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.-Ivan Panin")
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

15 years 11 months ago

Dear P

This piece is eloquently provocative with its vivid imagery and passion. I loved these lines: I threw off my everyday skin and became a warrior- an Amazonian warrior who would burn off her right breast to better wield her bow Always, Cat
Esker

Esker

15 years 11 months ago

yes~

"where the parts of her sum were forever moving changing the game.." excellent line and observation crafted in poetry I like your lengths you sketch filling in with juicy flow Esker~
A

anonymous1

15 years 11 months ago

Wonderful observations

I fell into this poem and imagined seeing myself stronger, bolder. My favorite lines: her eyes spoke in tongues and the pulse at the base of her throat was a mystery Nice. Lisa
Seren

Seren

15 years 11 months ago

Go Aussie

Its a rare feat to see someone in Spotlight and evolution ... makes me bloody proud to be an aussie to see you up here shining like the star you are love and big hugs congratulations JayCee x x x (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)
P

pleiades

15 years 11 months ago

awww…sweetiethank you so

awww...sweetie thank you so much for the congats i'm not really into spotlight and evolution, but that's just a personal thing...i'm not into the star system either i wander around here a bit blinkered sometimes...i see...i read...and don't really take that much notice of what things like spotlight and evolution actually mean but i genuinely thank you for your thoughtfulness in messaging me...it's lovely of you to do so p
Beauregard

Beauregard

15 years 11 months ago

You go girl

no supporter of Spotlight or Evolution, but I will congratulate you on taking both! They can't touch ya hun, ain't got nothin' on ya! ha! ;) Kelsey "In criticism I will be bold, and as sternly, absolutely just with friend and foe. From this purpose nothing shall turn me." -Edgar Allan Poe
P

pleiades

15 years 11 months ago

well kelsey, let me direct

well kelsey, let me direct you to my above comments to seren since you're not a supporter of such things either, i certainly appreciate your congrats an aside...what a pic! it's like a car crash... can't look at it, but can't look away eyeballs are an achilles heel for me......eeeewwwwwwwww cheers girl
S

shane

15 years 11 months ago

Love it!

I love it! Wonderful and profound read!
brittle light

brittle light

15 years 11 months ago

this is so good

only one thing though...maybe I'm too much an absurdist...but I think and feel that the piece should end with the line "she left one day, leaveing behind a black lycre cat-suit." I'm sure this piece is very personal to you (as all should be) and the last few lines give it something (closure,acceptance etc.) your not ready to give up. I can appreciate that as well. We all have our druthers! and druther nots! Other than this, I think it's first rate stuff. AL
P

pleiades

15 years 11 months ago

thanks for the consideration

thanks for the consideration al i pondered over your suggestion but decided to leave as is, as it has a definite significance for me your input is much appreciated cheers p
Kailashana

Kailashana

15 years 11 months ago

Whatever you do, p….

Whatever you do, p.... please do not change the last lines, Barry and I just watched *The Book of Eli* with Denzel Washington.... a must see. The end affected me so precisely and cogently that I burst into tears. It had something to do with *having made a difference*. Much love to all, ~A "People sometimes inquire what form of government is most suitable for an artist to live under. To this question there is only one answer. The form of government that is most suitable to the artist is no government at all." Oscar Wilde
P

pleiades

15 years 11 months ago

A…i will not be changing

A...i will not be changing the last lines i will however, be watching 'the book of eli' i feel quite sure i can trust your opinion a genuine thankyou for the above message p
S

sunflower

15 years 11 months ago

Impeccable! I enjoy your

Impeccable! I enjoy your descriptive language, my favourite stanza: she wore bravado as casually as one would a shawl, slung about her shoulders with abandon and the passion of flamenco. Sunflower
OM

odd molly

15 years 11 months ago

Dear P Yes and Yes, this is

Dear P Yes and Yes, this is an extraordinary and flambant and full of flamenco passion poem. You write as simple and abundant as that of the shawl which is so elegantly slung over the shoulders. I find this poem very interesting and it is a joy to find how you have developed your writing to this level and for me I can not include anything other than excellent and totally wonderful. Your words and pictures makes me want to paint. You are a star and very beautiful and special heart. Congratulations to the spotlight. Much love. Odd Molly
judyanne

judyanne

15 years 11 months ago

beautiful words P

describing beautiful emotion just love it judy xxxx http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TwentyMyPrettyPonies.html
LZ

Lil Z

15 years 11 months ago

Absolutely brilliant!

I'm very new to this site and haven't read that much, but this has to be in my top 3 favorite poems yet! Keep writing, you have an amazing talent!