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Glass Swept Under the Rug

How dare you leave the marks on her face
slamming of a cold door so long ago
because of you agony rips open every
screaming shadow on the wall.
There are days darkened by remnants
of glass shattered across the
kitchen floor
broken bottles
screeches when you’d
hit my mother
again.  
 
The house was never a home
it was a shiver of the trembling bone
the violent once upon a time.
I hated you a little more
every time your fist would touch
her face
bruises over her eyes the next day
told the town the whole damn story.
Still they turned away
I still remember
I still remember...
 
You screaming outside a locked door
crumpled down by the stairs
sobbing like a child
flashes of you standing, screaming
everything was wrong
I still hate everything about you
still want to stand there and scream
at you
make it done
isn’t it over
and then there are the things
no one else
knows...
 
The cries in the bedroom
when you were through
with me.
Slaps across the head,
flinching every time
you stood in the doorway.
Mother is the strength I had
that you never knew
your hands around her neck
look of innocence when the cops would show
they never did a thing
he was your drinking buddy anyways
didn’t care about the blood stains on the floor
remains of the war from the night before
there was no
shelter
there was no
being saved
there was just
pain
 
You could never put her in the place
you wanted.
Your fists tried to keep her there
but she was always tougher than you.  
The bruises might diminish
the blood can be wiped away
glass swept under the dusty rug
cracks in the walls reveal the secrets
still hear that little girl screaming
stop
no more
you’re a monster
 
That little girl still lives within
She still cries at the things you’ve done.
She is still afraid of you.  
I will never forget
the marks on mother’s neck
the fear of her ending dead in your hands
bruises on her face
the ripping of poetry, the story that
held the secrets, the day I almost
gave up a dream completely
I guess I wouldn’t be writing this
if it weren’t for you
if I had really given up then

You still live on, you get to
be drunk again, sleep it away.  
They say I need to just
forgive and forget
just deal with it.
But to forget would let you
get away with it again.
I’d like to see them
live through it then “just deal with it”
 
I remember.
Soon the world will know too
You won’t hide under
my bed anymore.

— Morgana Tragic Proprietress, Jun 14, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere Past Nevermore, CAN

Favorite Poets: Mostly my delightful, wonderful, crazy friends here at Neopoet. :)

More from this author

Critiques

M

magics02

15 years 11 months ago

Morg!

This is your book in the making my friend. How detailed your memory. How ingrained those thoughts and visions. You are correct no get it out or whatever it takes, for one to tell you to let it go is a cop out for them. Only you know, Only you feel what you feel and no one can tell you any differently. As I sat here and read this one I felt and saw all the pains of a young woman living through a nightmare, but only it was not a nightmare it was real as real as your words portrayed here. I only want to say I am happy for you to have dealt with this, which was him and to be able to write about it and experience, maybe a release as the words flow through your pen may be the best medication one can give themselves. I really do believe you would be a wonderful mentor for all the young woman and old alike who have had to go through the domestic violence and abuse theirselves and to see their own Mother have to go through it. Compelling write here gal and I commend you on it for it speaks volumes and rains of tears too. Love and Peace to you friend Mona xxoxoxo
Beauregard

Beauregard

15 years 11 months ago

You must remember

that he can't hurt you anymore, unless you let him. He's gone and bringing him back in memory is letting him win. Letting him get away with it. Get him out of your system and keep going. He can't keep going, unless you let him. He will lose, if you make him. You can win, if you let yourself love, let yourself know peace and happiness, but with him in your head and your heart, you can never know that peace or relearn love. I could read every poem you've ever written about the atrocities you've suffered, and I still wouldn't know the pain you've felt. But I know in my heart that you can overcome. You were not put on this earth to suffer all of your days. You were put here to thrive, to know joy and to extend a loving, understanding heart to those who've suffered like you. You are not broken. You are not a mistake. You are not a problem to be fixed or a sin to punished. You are beautiful. You are a miracle and a gift from God to the world. *big hug* 1.9: "screeches" --> 'screech' Kelsey
Morgana Tragic Proprietress

Morgana Tragic…

15 years 11 months ago

As always, Kels, your

As always, Kels, your honesty hits home. Thank you. I'm not even quite sure what to say to that...but you are right. Power is only power when it is permitted- sometimes writing about it is empowerment itself and sometimes it's like scratching the way out of a dark little cave. But there is always a light. And isn't that just the joy of writing it out- changing the tables on who gets to let go and who stays behind. *huge hugs* thanks Kels- your words here have meant a lot more than you'll ever know :) Peace
DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

15 years 11 months ago

I know the song you speak of

I know the song you speak of Katie, I can see it inspired alot of feelings and such, not such a thing to intrude on with opinionated suggestions. So I will say as usual your naritive poetry has taught me something, about poetry and you and that is great. I loved every line but my favoritew where. Mother is the strength I had that you never knew your hands around her neck look of innocence when the cops would show they never did a thing he was your drinking buddy anyways didn’t care about the blood stains on the floor remains of the war from the night before there was no shelter there was no being saved there was just pain Thank you so much for sharing this with us and being here at Neo, you make it a better place to be sis. Love ya bunchs, Julie D.D.
Esker

Esker

15 years 11 months ago

retake power

this is a powerful poem my freinds loves their stories I remember the nights waking up living with the day to days you have written this superbly the clarity here unflinching Esker~
S

scribbler

15 years 11 months ago

glass

To those who say forget:BULLSHIT!! but by forgiving ,you will remove all power he has over you.not saying you should ever even see the monster again or even communicate with it.best wishes.........scribbler
Morgana Tragic Proprietress

Morgana Tragic…

15 years 11 months ago

Scribbler, my only question

Scribbler, my only question is how you forgive such actions? For what monsters like that do there is no such thing. They can get legal "pardons" which I do believe is a joke and a half and then some...here in Canada it's 3-5 years after you've been released from prison, which most times is 2-4 years on good behaviour. Former hockey coach Graham James was granted a pardon 3 years ago after molesting a couple kids on his team over 350 times over a few years. You talk to ANY of the hockey players, who did go on to the NHL, and they will tell you there is no way they could forgive him, and I do feel the same. HOWEVER dearest Kelsey is right. The greatest revenge against these guys is simply carrying on, being happy, loving and appreciating yourself for all that you are. Every soul is beautiful in spite of the damage. Every survivor deserves to move on and live happily. But forgiving means he gets away with it, as does forgetting. I would rather remember as I move on, because it makes me stronger and it gives me a reason to fight again when things get tough. I would rather look back on then and look at now and be able to know that I hold the power over my own life now. Because I do. It's been almost 6 years since it ended. Just this year I had the honour of meeting a fabulous woman who started a petition against sex offenders getting pardons. Because of my own experience, I got into it and helped with the petition and getting media interviews for her. Because I haven't forgiven him I looked at it as fighting him one more time. Maybe someday if I ever take him to court I can make it the day I know he will never be pardoned. Not by me, and not by the legal system. Peace
S

scribbler

15 years 11 months ago

forgiveness

I am deeply sorry if my words caused you any pain.This excuse for a man's actions should be repaid in spades.I have always believed child molesters should be castrated and chemicaly neutered,then tatooed so all can see them for what they are.The forgiveness I spoke of is the letting go of anger, which causes you more harm than him by allowing thoughts of him to govern your life.I realize this can only take place over time.Again, apologies for any inadvertent pain.sincerely.....Stan
Morgana Tragic Proprietress

Morgana Tragic…

15 years 11 months ago

I totally hear what you’re

I totally hear what you're saying there, Scribbler and I agree. One is only rule if they permit others to rule them, same as what Kelsey initially said. No harm done, you were simply stating your opinion. Takes a lot more than that to get to me these days! Lol. Peace
M

magics02

15 years 11 months ago

Morg

If one has been in an abusive relationship only that person can do for themselves what no one else can do. You can never forget about any of it, ever, and I am speaking of my own experiences here not only of this poem which was written exemplary. The only way I could let go and live was yes to find forgiveness to the person or person's who brang me, such grief in my life and those around me. It was horrible for me too. I do think that is what Scribe intended as forgetting something as horrible as domestic violence, child abuse, rape, mental abuse, is a very hard thing to do. You can not push this away, it has to be processed through. And then disposed of yes. When one does block it out it can (and will) resurface again. Trust me it happened to me, more than ocne and then as I was able to process it later on in life, I dealt with it much better. That goes for the adults in my life also. As life is never a bowl of cherries for everyone. Some children do go through no pain and anxiety of the abuse of a mother or father, husband or wife, son or daughter, for that matter any relationship can be abusive. For those that have had to go through it I am sure they know just what I am saying here. Everyone's situation is different and all interpret it differently. I think it is great for our Morgana to express her feelings this way and know that she is definetly not alone in this world or in Neopoet with what she went through in her tender years. She just happened to be brave and write about something personal so I totally understand her write from maybe a different perspective then others. Someday I will also write my story and then hopefully others will understand and connect the same way I did when I read this. I say yes to love and live now also for tomorrow is gone and the next best thing is tomorrow again. I hope more people do become advocates in their local communities to bring this out to the front as many years ago it was a hush, hush, we don't talk about it and NOW we do talk about it. There are no more skeletons in the closet anymore as all people come forth sooner or later. The sooner the better for sure. I work with many young children and adults, all genders, race, nationalities, ethnic backgrounds, with this domestic violence, rape and mistreatment of the elderly and the very young. It is not an easy job to hear and see what I have to see day to day but someone has to do it and there I am for all of the victims. This is a subject I take very seriously and I am very compassionate in the work I do with it. I applaud Morg in her work also and look forward to her book:) GLASS SWEPT UNDER THE RUG ....NOT ANYMORE!! great job my friend Peace to you all and stay happy Magics xoxo
Morgana Tragic Proprietress

Morgana Tragic…

15 years 11 months ago

Thank you, Mona, however I

Thank you, Mona, however I do not believe I need to justify what I write. Kelsey is a great inspiration when she is brutally honest, I consider her a little sister so she is permitted to tell me whatever she thinks. She has a brilliant mind. Every situation is different, yes. I am moving on and I have moved on. You never forget but you let it go and walk on. You may not forgive but let me tell you there will come a day when these bastards no longer get away with this like they do. I believe there is evil in this world for a reason. As much damage as it does to innocence and purity, it should be opening our eyes and forcing us to look at these things and want to help those who cannot help themselves. It takes more than just the people who work in law enforcement and it takes more than the legal system itself. It takes everyone having eyes open wide to see the signs, the bruises, the hurt and the silent pain. Writing for me now is more than therapy. I have had a few of the younger poets come to me about what they have gone through and I only hope I have been able to help them. Being open about what I have been through if only here has meant that I have been able to help someone just a little. And at the end of the day if that's what I accomplish with writing, whether intentional or not, then I am satisfied with continuing to write about and satisfied with continuing to post them no matter the opinions I get. I am grateful for the ones who can be honest, like Kelsey. Peace
M

magics02

15 years 11 months ago

Sorry Morg

It was not meant as to justify your write Morg, as you know I work in the community and am a big advocate of this type of thing(S) ANd yes you say honesty and honest I was in my response to you. I did not say anything about Kelsey or what she wrote to you, I am commenting to you alone. I am glad you are speaking to the young gals on here as I do that also in my community and yes if you can help one person get the word out that is great< I commend you for doing this and as far as forgiving it is up to the individual of course, my opinions were not soley of your write they were for all the battered woman, man, children and elderly. It is a sad thing and I do not think it will ever go away no matter how much we kick and fight. You say get the bastards off the street but do you also know that woman are abusers also. It used to me a man thing but not any more as more and more woman have guns and are vicious. It shocks me but I know it is truth and truth don't lie You keep up the good works and sorry if you misinterpreted my comments. Peace at ya gal Mona xxxxoxox
Morgana Tragic Proprietress

Morgana Tragic…

15 years 11 months ago

I’m very aware women can

I'm very aware women can be abusers too. I have heard a many horror stories about women as well as men. Neither is justified in abuse of any kind. A woman is just as guilty of a man when it comes to abuse. It's a choice they make, between right and wrong. And once you cross that line of wrong and take the innocence of a child you no longer deserve the right to be in society. I agree with Scribbler above- castrate em, chemically neuter em, whatever. Leave em out on an island where they all starve to death and suffer in their death. It's what they deserve. They don't deserve the societal rights that my country gives them. Rehabilitate? Reintegrate? Are you serious? It's all a joke because these offenders NEVER change. They keep doing it over and over and over until someone stops them. I believe we can achieve a world where this is NOT accepted and NOT tolerated. We just have to fight for it and I am willing to dirty my hands for such a cause. Peace
M

magics02

15 years 11 months ago

Morg

Forgot to ask you can you send me to the link to the song by Christina A. I love that singer and would love to hear the song too. Talk to you soon and keep up your great works lady xoxoxo Mona
Morgana Tragic Proprietress

Morgana Tragic…

15 years 11 months ago

Christina Aguilara -

Christina Aguilara - "I'm OK" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-CspR8iN_E&playnext_from=TL&videos=HqXy2kgxt8o
Geezer

Geezer

15 years 11 months ago

As brutal...

as your treatment! You slugged him where it hurts! I can't believe that no one has told him about your poetry, and how you have exposed him. This, I think is real revenge, and "poetic justice" [If I may say so].~ Gee
Morgana Tragic Proprietress

Morgana Tragic…

15 years 11 months ago

Thanks Gee ((HUGS!!!)) Good

Thanks Gee ((HUGS!!!)) Good to see you! Been a while, hope everything is well. And HA I hope someone tells him how he's been exposed- I actually have a poem book entered into a competition. It is of these very poems I have written. Talk about who's getting exposed soon. I hope it's a good slap to the face to him and a beating with a hockey stick too even if he never reads or sees it. Just knowing that the world will know satisfies me. It is the greatest revenge. Peace and hugs
Rett

Rett

15 years 11 months ago

Good write daughter

I have a cure for the sickness people like this have. The good news is it's fatal. Respectfully, Rett: “Anyone who sacrifices liberty for security deserves neither.” Benjamin Franklin
Morgana Tragic Proprietress

Morgana Tragic…

15 years 11 months ago

AGREED Dad!!!!! Fatal at

AGREED Dad!!!!! Fatal at least makes sure it NEVER happens again. Peace
Morgana Tragic Proprietress

Morgana Tragic…

15 years 11 months ago

Update-

So I got a Facebook message from that friend of mine whom I was doing the petition with - she gave me this news that I am delighted to share. http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/TopStories/20100616/homolka-bid-folo-100616/ Bill C-63 was introduced in the aftermath of disgraced hockey coach Graham James pardon. It was meant to cover all aspects of offenders and criminals, but the section regarding sex offenders was severed from the rest of the bill to be put in place before the eligibility date of Karla Homolka ( http://crime.about.com/od/murder/p/homolka.htm for those who don't know her) to get her pardon, which would have been July 5. This bill not only bans her from a pardon, but all sex offenders in Canada. We can make a difference if only we try, if only we speak and if we work together. The petition and Facebook group slogan became UNITED WE STAND because it is so true. United we stand, divided we fall. Being united was how we got this bill passed, because survivors, victims and those affected by such were brave enough to speak. Don't be afraid to do the same. Peace, love and light "If I wasn't for all of your torture I wouldn't know how to be this way now, never back down makes me that much stronger makes me work a little bit harder makes me that much wiser thanks for making me a fighter...you tried to hide your lies disguise your
ANC1996

ANC1996

15 years 11 months ago

Woohoo (:

Awesome, Big Sis!(: Peace love and Spacemen!
Morgana Tragic Proprietress

Morgana Tragic…

15 years 11 months ago

Thanks lil sis!!!! Peace

Thanks lil sis!!!! Peace love n squirrels! "If I wasn't for all of your torture I wouldn't know how to be this way now, never back down makes me that much stronger makes me work a little bit harder makes me that much wiser thanks for making me a fighter...you tried to hide your lies disguise your
Seren

Seren

15 years 11 months ago

Just realised the comment I

Just realised the comment I thought I had left isnt here hun so sorry hun dont know how it happen neo having a fit again I would lay a guess on lol wonderful write as I thought I said the first time lol love and hugs JayCee x x x P.S congrates on the spotlight lovely to see you here (“In time we hate that which we often fear.” William Shakespeare quote)
Morgana Tragic Proprietress

Morgana Tragic…

15 years 11 months ago

LOL not a worry, Seren, Neo

LOL not a worry, Seren, Neo tends to have little fits as we all know. And thanks, ironically this poem made spotlight the same day that the law banning serious sex offenders from getting pardons came into effect. So it was fitting. "If I wasn't for all of your torture I wouldn't know how to be this way now, never back down makes me that much stronger makes me work a little bit harder makes me that much wiser thanks for making me a fighter...you tried to hide your lies disguise your