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Jun 13, 2010
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TRYING ANYTHING ONCE (THE SEQUEL)
They say a poet at least should try
every form beneath the sky
not doing so retards his growth
like its breaking poet's oath
So Japanese I guess I'll try
"look it up" so that I
won't come out as a total fool
this form is just another tool
Haiku was there and something new
a form that is called"Senryu"
both governed more by length than flow *no limit on title
time to begin ,so here I go
Title(for both poems)
EPIC TALE OF HAIR LOSS, SUBSEQUENT REALIZATION OF OWN MORTALITY FOLLOWED BY CAUTIOUS OPTIMISM
(as translated by Kia Toyota)
haiku
Where has my hair gone?
guess this means my death is near
I hope not too soon
senryu
hair
today
gone
tomorrow
Whew!, now that was really tough
title alone was quite enough
to make my head ache half a day
not too sure I like this way
Tense concentration made me sick
took great effort to make verse click
too limited amount of words to pick
think I'll stay with my 'Classic"
every form beneath the sky
not doing so retards his growth
like its breaking poet's oath
So Japanese I guess I'll try
"look it up" so that I
won't come out as a total fool
this form is just another tool
Haiku was there and something new
a form that is called"Senryu"
both governed more by length than flow *no limit on title
time to begin ,so here I go
Title(for both poems)
EPIC TALE OF HAIR LOSS, SUBSEQUENT REALIZATION OF OWN MORTALITY FOLLOWED BY CAUTIOUS OPTIMISM
(as translated by Kia Toyota)
haiku
Where has my hair gone?
guess this means my death is near
I hope not too soon
senryu
hair
today
gone
tomorrow
Whew!, now that was really tough
title alone was quite enough
to make my head ache half a day
not too sure I like this way
Tense concentration made me sick
took great effort to make verse click
too limited amount of words to pick
think I'll stay with my 'Classic"
— scribbler, Jun 13, 2010
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Critiques
xena465
15 years 12 months ago
He, he, he Stan
scribbler
15 years 12 months ago
anything
xena465
15 years 12 months ago
Morning Stan
shirley harrison
15 years 12 months ago
so entertaining!
scribbler
15 years 12 months ago
anything
mand
15 years 12 months ago
I don’t know anything
scribbler
15 years 12 months ago
haiku
scribbler
15 years 12 months ago
sequel
wolf
15 years 11 months ago
excellent, you seem a good
scribbler
15 years 11 months ago
sequel