themoonman

Jun 10, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Absurdity of Bone

Falling out of trees

I should be used to it,
but the pain is loud
and I'm too old to roll evenly.

The snap pop crackle of brittle bones,
the so confused slow-mo-brain...

The metaphoric ground still hurts.

I'm way less witty today,
it hurts to walk,
a struggle to talk,
I need a shot or two or three
of something more inspiring.

But Time wins all games,
and each player will know shame.

old bones
cold toes
me on the way on down,
today was an odd one
and it's not quite done.

— themoonman, Jun 10, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Critiques

Seren

15 years 12 months ago

Dear Richard

I loved this one its different, well for me it has a different feel .. I loved it my friend only have one suggestion me on the way on down, me on the way down has better flow for me but its just a suggestion ... well written love and hugs JayCee ("Quote:-For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.-Ivan Panin")

themoonman

15 years 12 months ago

Hi Jayne...

Thank you for reading and offering suggestions... for me, the line is vernacular, it flows from my old country self, but I knew when I wrote it that there would be a lot of people that it wouldn't work for. I think I'll keep it for now, but if I hear a chorus... it could be changed... great suggestion Jayne. Richard

xena465

15 years 12 months ago

Poor Richard

The aches and pains of growing old are awful. I’m only in my 50’s and sometimes I feel like the way you describe. But one thing's for sure, there’s nothing wrong with your brain...Brilliant write. Xena

scribbler

15 years 12 months ago

Age

FIFTIES? I'd have thought maaaybe thirties.......Stan

xena465

15 years 12 months ago

Oooo Sooo sweet Stan

Remember that's the real Xena in the pic, ha, ha. Xena

themoonman

15 years 12 months ago

Xena...

thanks... I'm 52, the bad thing is that I thought I was 52 on my last birthday, I totally missed being 51... would have been wrong again but my wife pulled out the calculator so she would know for sure. raising a cup of coffee to the aches and pains of age Richard

xena465

15 years 12 months ago

So Richard...

My aches and pains are normal then, thank God. I’m just a year in front of you. This year I thought I’d turned 52, but after recalculating, it seems I’m actually 53…Yuk!!! Xena

judyanne

15 years 12 months ago

crack, snapple, pop richard

poor old bones enjoyable write if i'm allowed to say that about your pain (i was born with the incredible gift of being able to laugh at the pain of others) love judy xxx http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TwentyMyPrettyPonies.html

themoonman

15 years 12 months ago

lol

that is indeed a wonderful gift... thanks Judy.

Kailashana

15 years 12 months ago

Falling out of trees?

Falling out of trees? Nah... Just ease on down the road... Love your writes, my moonman. You sure know how to roll along with life's punches. ~ "Even if I knew the world were to end tomorrow, I would plant an olive tree today."-- Francis of Assisi

themoonman

15 years 12 months ago

Anna...

thank you... I was thinking about when I was young and daring, back then it was a game to climb a tree too small to hold us, and ride it down, the one who was scratched up the most was the winner... I usually won. Damn little boys with no regard for Life, killing trees just for fun, but it really was fun back then. I thought it a fitting metaphor for the way I feel sometimes.

scribbler

15 years 12 months ago

bone

Damn bones always betraying us.Once walked around 3 days with broken ankle I thought sprained.Accurate write based on experience?........scribbler

themoonman

15 years 12 months ago

Scribbler...

Indeed, and I've done the same thing. I broke a finger climbing trees when I was young, scared to tell my parents about it, I sort of let it mend on its own, I have a knotty bone to remember it by...

DawningDaytripper

15 years 12 months ago

That was hilarious and witty

That was hilarious and witty Moonman, thanks for the needed pic me up and smile. Favorite lines, But Time wins all games, and each player will know shame. Julie D.D.

Esker

15 years 12 months ago

Happy Fifty First Birthday then old Crackly!

falling is unkind now I fell and the shoulder has been for the ghost wolf of agony to gnaw on every day deformed and pushing up in its rounded hump the damned clavicle I remember the tree games we would car surf too hanging on to the top of speeding cars or vans I wake sit which hurts my back hold my arms out to type which kills my shoulder but I grit my teeth and smile madly take some pain killers and dare life through another day ha Im all beat up by life now but loving it still and who forgets the thrills of those days I missed turning forty four a great poem my freind Esker~

Phx4ever

15 years 10 months ago

your post

...painfully beautiful~ I love how you were able to express the feeling in your words. The spacing was even felt... excellent job~!