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sunscreen
sunscreen
Jun 10, 2010 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

Evil

To lose myself
To let out inner evil
Destroy all hope.

Let out war cry
Last painful scream
At the depth of myself.

A look shot my way,
births anger.
Demon be gone.

The look in my eye
Danger in heart
Loss of mercy.

Feelings unknown
Consumed by rage
Loss of humanity.

Lives mean nothing
Take as I please
Spit death breathe life.

Lifeless by me
Control I lacked
Woe is me.

"I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

- Winston Churchill.



— sunscreen, Jun 10, 2010
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Critiques

S

SophieHannah24

16 years 1 month ago

Great emotional

Great emotional communication, very few standard errors(spelling, pronoun agreement, and verb usage), an altogether powerful read. Lovely!
xena465

xena465

16 years 1 month ago

Hiya son

Very dark thoughts in this one Alex, but expressing one’s feelings are good, and to banish out evil is the way to go. Nice write. Just a couple of wee things that will help it read much better… To {loose} myself …………….[lose] {Lifes} mean nothing ……………[Life means]………or [Lives mean] Xena
sunscreen

sunscreen

16 years 1 month ago

Thanks mum, I did fix these

Thanks mum, I did fix these mistakes, and I'm glad that you liked it, as I've been thinking a lot about the regret I've had for 6 years. Anger has always been my issue, when I loose control, and sensibility people tend to get hurt. I've never used a weapon as I'm already dangerous enough with my fists. but over the years I've become a master over my anger, and I very rarely write about it, but the 10th of July is coming up, so I have been thinking about my regret, that one I wake up to every day.
xena465

xena465

16 years 1 month ago

Oh my wee baby!

You remind me of my wee brother Hughie. He’s such a beautiful kind-hearted guy, but so, so angry all the time. He had it really tough as a child, bullied, ridiculed. He was a bit overweight, too many sweets from mum; being spoiled, and people called him names; even us!!! We used to call him `Fat-Barrel` when he was naughty. Also the loss of our mum when he was only 12 years old was the crunch and ending up in a children’s home. He was the youngest of our family. So when she died, he was devastated, even more than the rest of us. His life afterwards was torrent and filled with so much rage at the world. He lives in England and everyone is afraid of him, his true friends love him, but he snaps at the least wee thing. PS. An extra five stars for the brilliant edit, now it's perfect ***** Xena
sunscreen

sunscreen

16 years 1 month ago

That’s very sad, and

That's very sad, and fat-barrel is not a very nice thing, I do hope you've atoned for the mean things you said to him, blood runs deeper then water. I'm afraid my regret runs a lot deeper then that, but it's not something, I'd tell you over neopoet, maybe if you e-mail me about it, if you're truly curious about it.
xena465

xena465

16 years 1 month ago

Sure Alex

You can send me an e-mail and tell me about it. Mum's here for you baby x Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell
sunscreen

sunscreen

16 years 1 month ago

I have indeed changed it, it

I have indeed changed it, it used to be "The one who blocks out the sun" I decided I'd rather be protective, and not darkness so I went with Sunscreen instead, I think it fits me just right. Thank you for your lovely comment :)
Seren

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Dear Alex

Of All your poetry I think this is up there with the best and your Winston Churchill Quote lol its above my head ;) its one of my favourites lol wonderful poem take a bow young man love and hugs JayCee x x x ("Quote:-For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.-Ivan Panin")
sunscreen

sunscreen

16 years 1 month ago

Thank you Jayne, I always

Thank you Jayne, I always enjoy your visits to my poetry, I'm glad you like the quote, because when I saw it, I was like "HE STOLE THAT FROM ME!!!"

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