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The Last Waltz

  She lay in her death bedAs tears fill her eyesStriken with cancerShe's now paralyzed She asks for her husbandTo sit by her sideHe kneels down to comfortHis bedridden bride She says she'd give anythingJust to have one more chanceTo know what it feels like To dance He turns on the radioAnd takes her by the handHe holds her in his armsFor she can no longer stand As the music is playingHe carries her highHer feet off the floorShe can almost fly Her eyes begin closing As they spin round and roundShe feels like a princessWho's missing her crown She's smiling and cryingIn her euphoric tranceShe knows what it feels likeTo dance
— Whiskurz, Jun 10, 2010

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M

magics02

15 years 12 months ago

Very nice here

I like it and I would like to just suggest the radio to be corrected and at the ending it ended too abrupt. I was thinking maybe to dance her last dance maybe? I got the feeling she was ill and she danced for the last time. Only one more tweak I notice (she feels not fill like a princess) and the line the 12th making it the same as the last line, I am only making suggests as anymore I don't want people to think I am rewriting their poems. It is wonderful and with some minor arrangements maybe..It is your poem and I just offer the vision I get when I read it, and it is sad but poignant. Love Mona
S

sharon-rose

15 years 12 months ago

I like this

Thanks for this poem. It highlights the tragic limitations of mortal life and the overwhelming power of our imagination and memory that allow us to dream, way beyond the confines of the physical.
S

scribbler

15 years 12 months ago

waltz

wonderful images of fulfilled last wish.I thought it read well as "classic".Only suggestion line 12 perhaps:"to with him dance" or some such.Would add to impact of final line ?just an idea.........scribbler