the unwanted

someone in the family? blood's thicker than water i'm afraid, so you may have to just deal with that person. much as i love this poem, i think it needs some edit as, especially in the first verse, there seem to be repeats and too many commas. it doesn't have to rhyme, sounds good to me as follows, but that's just me i still love the way you have done it. 'your words cut through me like poison. the more i think of you it drives me insane. such a nasty individual, you query my soul. how can someone be so evil? when i open my heart you bash it. when i support your lunacy you condemn. if it wasn't for family you'd be nothing to me, but here you are a wide branch on my tree. i'm not sure what to do with this now, i'd love to crush you and frazzle your brow, but blood must be thicker, and pass stronger then water, because i have born a cousin a daughter. oh, how fate can deal such an ironic blow, and now i am stuck with this undealable ho!' as i say - just me - everyone's tastes are different, and who knows, i may be destroying some perfect metre..... heaps of love judy xxx http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TwentyMyPrettyPonies.html