The Flute-Player:

I REALLY liked this ! just a verse or two short ? good work.......scribbler

Aside from the fish (and to some degree the flute), that which becomes is active/subject: playing a flute, hunting, flying. But the girl in love's embrace is passive/object. For me, the poem would end better if it were something along the lines of "the girl who embraces love/becomes love." This is, otherwise, a lovely poem about unifying.

Yeah I think you have a great start here. I'm sure you'll smooth it out, love the last lines. The fish scales glinting diamonds in the sky, winding into the sea. Nice visuals in these lines. raskin

the flute in the air becomes the air...... the fish becomes the sea .... the falcon becomes heaven ..... the girl becomes love really nice imagery, John Dalton..... I like. also that it's short, I feel simliar, short is groovy right now.... peace, Leigh "The true miracle is not walking on water or walking in air, but simply walking on this earth." Thich Nhat Hanh

if the poem is made of sparse images, then why the flute player won the title? There has to be a hidden ring holding their unity. If you found a name for that ring, you'll find the best title for this poem. I started reading Rumi (haven't read much for him before) just to see the resemblance b/w my poem and his...and now I can see the effect of Rumi on this poem. He does open closed doors for his readers and make us see things we never noticed before. I like poems that make me think. Enjoyable one Thank you Dalton

You brush the profound and make it look beautiful :) again lovely write love and hugs Jaycee ("Quote:-For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.-Ivan Panin")