Memoir Of A Tripper

I crept to the last waverie corner of nightcage,
and in snow motion silence,
sqwat a shade oddscene as moonamidday.
I sifted into humptyheap,
and swempt flewy adrift upon a swoonyglow of moobeams.

I fell farward

— brittle light, Jun 05, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: upstate New York USA, USA

Critiques

weirdelf

16 years ago

My word! so neatly encapsulates the experience!

great wordplay, Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible,

mona

16 years ago

I liked your work

though some words I did n't understand,but nice I would like you to send me its meaning. (wink) Mona

Seren

16 years ago

Heya Brittle

dont know if your interested in improving this one I had a play with the spelling and the flow if you don't like what I did ignore me i am used to it lol kind regards Jayne-Chloe I crept to the last wavering corner of night-cage, and in snow motion silence, squat in a shade obscene as moon at midday. I sifted into humptyheap, and swept to flow adrift upon the swoon and glow of moonbeams. I fell forward ("Quote:-For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.-Ivan Panin")

brittle light

16 years ago

thanks for taking the time

I appriciate your thought and suggestions and I like what you did in the rewrite...but I think we are working off two seperate and distinct premises. the triper of this poem is going through a major disintegation...he is on an LSD trip...the words chosen are a reflection of that disintegration, and they get weirder...and stranger ...and more surrealistic, as the trip escalates... he's hallucinating... this poem is an analogy, in words, of how it feels, when getting off on hallucingins..nothing resembles the reality one is used to...try not to make much sense out of it... it is senseless in a sense... that was my main objective....I hope you will respond to this reply if I missed what you were going for (your premis) thanks again for your interest and time....Al

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Brittle

lol I know what you mean I could see the trip clearly ~! hence lol the edit I did, and as I said if you are working a different angle with this one I totally understand ... kind regards JayCee ("Quote:-For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.-Ivan Panin")