Who Knew "Goodbye" Could Taste so Sweet

Who Knew "Goodbye" Could Taste so Sweet

When last we parted I took your
hand to my lips and marked the warmth,
the promise, the passion that flowed
from you like a slow, slumbering
bolt entwining my heart and soul
and causing me to pause, speechless,
while I stood, trembling in awe;
too stunned to utter anything
as I basked in our destiny
and savored another goodbye.

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Motivation and Focus

Firstly, this is tetrameter blank verse.  Secondly this is another example of passion poetry.  Thirdly, the idea for this has been kicking around in my head for nearly a year but, as is the norm, I just could not get a handle on how to mesh my vision with the structure I wanted to use and not have it sound, silly at best, angsty at worst, and instantly forgettable.

The goal with passion poetry is to capture an emotion without attaching it to a single person.  The result should be that Passion poetry has a broader appeal and longer life and does not contain any embarrassing or juvenile professions of undying love that no one else has ever experienced.

And although I knew this would be tetrameter blank verse, my approach to this was a bit different.  First I wrote a number of lines with complete disregard for meter and then I cleaned those up and substituted words I did not like and felt did not have enough power, then I went back and smoothed the flow and meter until I had what I wanted.

A lot of the current work I have been doing has had a more serious and somber cast to it and while I was not in the mind set to create a surreal depiction of FlatEarth, I wanted something to lighten the palette.  I believe this is a good start.

Alternately, this piece could be cast as Free Verse, thusly:

When last we parted,
I took your hand to my lips
and marked the warmth
the promise,
the passion,
that flowed from you like a slow,
slumbering
bolt entwining my heart and soul
and causing me to pause,
speechless,
while I stood,
trembling in awe;
too stunned to utter
anything
as I basked in our destiny
and savored another
goodbye.

And folks would never have known it was tetrameter blank verse and that words were considered and fitted for size and discarded until I had the feel I had imagined when the image came to me over a year ago.

But I like the tetrameter version better and since I am the author, I'll go with my structure choice though I am, as always, welcoming of any critique.