Les Dossier Amor

I do not know how to explain myself.  I do not know how to bring forward the things that rest in my prime.  I want to be with you, but I know I shouldn’t.  The pages of history past have written that I should cease to pursue what I want.  It would seem that fate has cast aside the path I wished to walk, the sights that should have reveled my eyes.  The dizzying scents that flow the misty air.

I cannot be with you… I shouldn’t want to be so.  Yet you are drawn to my unequivocal attention.  I know none like you and dare I say, the moons will fade and will still know no comparison.  I beg to be free from thought of you, lest I give in to my want and what I think should be.  Altering, completely the natural path of things to be.

Yet still, still there is a persistence of being, a determination of will, an undying spirit that will not yield.  You.  I know none like you.  You defy the real and that blurry line between dusk and dawn.  My pursuit cannot be stopped.  Not by the demons in hell, nor the angels of heaven.

I rebel with each passing night to the oppression from being with you when the sun breaks, but I know I cannot.  I should leave this path.  I cannot hope to know the sun shimmer from the back of your eye, the look that stops all time to a single moment of splendor when I catch your gaze from the corner of my eye.

I cannot know.  I dare not know.  Why?

Is it the inadequacy I feel when I’m around you?  The fear of not being what you need me to be?  Realising that I am not more than a shadow to you presence?  The grace that was granted to you?

My greatest inadequacy is that you do not need me…

… but I would very much like you to want me, to be with me.  After all, is that not what matters?  A will to defy the written fate and forge a new one?

I cannot tell you what will come tomorrow, but I can say none shall shake my foundation as I stand before you and the world.  None can destroy my resolve.  None can bring what I feel to its knees, to the earth.

None, but you.

01/12/2009