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Red

He was the good son,
and brother, as well

with a hunger for living
he couldn't quite quell;

living for family
'til he sent them, away...

my friend, Red....can't come out to play.

~

Tortured, in life
but, still wore a smile

that would put you in, awe
but, that was Red's style,

a teacher, a mentor,
a student of the day;

Red's hope began slipping, away.

~

All I can remember
is, he'd never condone, 

even his behaviour
for leaving his family, alone;

he would've straightened things out
had he just one more day,

and that's something, my friend "Red", would say.

— docmaverick, Jun 03, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: The High Desert, in the wild west, southern California, U.S. of A.., USA

Favorite Poets: Keates, Poe, Dickinson, and Dr. Seuss. There are a smattering of others, but why bother listing 'em all, ya know?, I also rely on a few of our poets, here....for advice, and what not. I couldn't possibly explain what a fountain of live, effective knowledge we have...right here in our midst ! To catch a glimmer of brilliance, merely visit: the Stream.

More from this author

Critiques

S

scribbler

16 years ago

red

what a well written tribute to an apparent good friend.........scribbler
MM

Moloko D. Mahuma

16 years ago

It is so beautiful

Very well written with powerful lines. I love your writting style - so unique but not complicated. Moloko
docmaverick

docmaverick

16 years ago

Thank-you, Moloko....

...for your support. This was a difficult loss, and an equally difficult write. I truly appreciate your comments. "Write on"! sincerely, #{:-{)}8==== docmaverick.
AW

Antoinette Mar…

16 years ago

Red...

There was sooo much to say about him....yet never enough...so you made it short but this was Red...I am sorry for everyones Loss...he fought to live....and you loved this fellow... This was Red.... Love, Mom
M

magics02

16 years ago

Doc

What a beautiful tribute to your friend Red. May he rest in peace. Mona
docmaverick

docmaverick

16 years ago

I greatly appreciate your support, Mona....

...haven't heard from you in a while. It's nice to see you still writing. I read your poem, Pillows of Clouds...and I have one small suggestion. Try doing every two, or three line groupings. It's easier for the reader, and since the first rule you come up on is, you'll find that you can never control your reader...so, you might as well just make him/her comfortable. Nes 'pa? Thanks again, for the kind remarks. "Write on"! sincerely, #{:-{)}8==== docmaverick.
M

magics02

16 years ago

Doc

Good Morning I went in to correct the poem you spoke of in here and with all the revisions, PLease go and let me know if it reads better for the eyes and I do see for me it does. I will concentrate more on those lines from here on. Thanking you once again. I appreciate it very much grazie Mona xoxo
M

magics02

16 years ago

Thanks Doc

Did you make that comment on the page of the poem that way I can work on it. I did notice my lineage was too long, yes I agree I like to do the 4 or 6 line, I so appreciate that and I shall go to corrections with it now. sorry about your friend here and hope all is fine with you and Mom too!! grazie Mona xxoxo
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years ago

you just had to slip in to the second person

and preach in the last stanza, the flimsy disguise of quoting Red didn't work. You know how much I hate that and how much I sincerely believe it is wrong for poets to do. Let preachers and Hallmark do that. Let your expression impart the moral. Before that it was a beautiful, sensitive poem of friendship. Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible,
docmaverick

docmaverick

16 years ago

Hey elf....

...I attempted to repair the "preachiousity" of my final stanza. How does it wrap around your head? "Write on"! sincerely, #{:-{)}8==== docmaverick.
docmaverick

docmaverick

16 years ago

Elf....

...did I correct it, satisfactfully? "Write on"! sincerely, #{:-{)}8==== docmaverick.