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M
magics02
Jun 02, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Underneath This Tree

 

Red and ripened underneath this tree
we gather together you and me
Picking cherries, so sweet the taste
we cast the pits, far into the lake

Quiet reflections of a lake so calm
red stain of cherry all over our palms
Blue skies above, so still is the day
adorations of beauty, along the way

So many cherries, so many pits
a taste of sweetness upon our lips
A picnic basket right by our side
sharing together this special time

Shades of serenity underneath this tree
a lake so calm and a summer's breeze
Red pitted stains upon our hands
we reach for more, together we stand

Let's sit together, admiring this scene
feelings of peace, quiet and serene
Quiet of time in this place of love
For a rainbow's shower hovers above.

mms 6.02.10


 


 

— magics02, Jun 02, 2010

About This Poem

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Region, Country: USA - Florida, USA

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Critiques

P

panaella

16 years ago

reminds me of summer

Lovely summertime images...can feel the sun, the warmth...lazy carefree days. Smashing write Mona! Ells x
M

magics02

16 years ago

Thanks Ells

Are you back from your rest now and thanks so much for your thoughts and comments. Missed talking to you on here. Summer days oh yes they are here again and hot they are. Hope all is good by you and your writes will appear soon. Love,Mona
S

scribbler

16 years ago

tree

Nothing but good comes from sitting under a tree does it ?don't much like cherries, but liked this.Now you've got me proof reading HA!HA!last line did you mean "rainbow's" not "rainbows"?.........scribbler
M

magics02

16 years ago

Rainbows

Thanks Scribe I appreciate your comments and I did have it as rainbow's but then it looked like (rainbow is) you know I remember talking to someone else on here and I do get stumped on my apostrophe's time after time. You are a okay to point this out as yes I see you are proofreading very well here now, even your own work. So that is all a good thing. Keep it up. Much appreciation to you Mona xoxox
M

magics02

16 years ago

Thanks Indi

I know we talked on this before and I shall go fix it. As always I appreciate it. I shall go fix it now. With that aside what is your take on the poem by the way:)
M

magics02

16 years ago

Yes that is okay

I shall work on it and yes cherries everywhere I see. I love them you know! Yes I see and wrote it six different times and ways but how else can we change the cherry to an apple? Hmm I need to think about it and thanks for all the comments and feedback so far.....Mona I played with it some. All those cherries are falling all over the place now. I need to go buy some for sure. I tweaked it up more and now I shall leave it as is until I change it maybe once more. Come back later for reviews..grazie
xena465

xena465

16 years ago

Lovely Mona

You took me back to nice times when I used to have picnics with a handsome guy. I need to get out more, especially now that it’s summer. Maybe I’ll find a HUNK in the Botanical Gardens just down the road from where I live...must take some sandwiches and beer with me, just in case? Just one wee typo…. Red and {rippened} underneath this tree …………[ripened] Xena
M

magics02

16 years ago

Yes thank you and memories

Fondly indeed and yes it is time to get out and about for sure instead of sticking up here in Neopoet all day LOL. I thank you and yes you are correct and I shall fix. Thank you Xena gal!! Love,Mona
mand

mand

16 years ago

Oh the lazy, hazy, crazy

Oh the lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer, wonderful. Shear delight, I'm left with a wonderful image to think about for the evening. Thanks for sharing Mona. wonderful poem Love Mand xxxx
M

magics02

16 years ago

Thank you Mand

For the visit and comment, I was wondering how your poetry is going and yes it is a lazy hazy hot summer so far. Must find that shade tree whenever your're out and about. Thank you friend love Monaxoxo
Seren

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Mona

your making me miss summer its raining and miserable and cold as here tonight, when your finished with her send her back round to us lol I cant wait lovely poem I think its my new favourite :) love and hugs JayCee x x x ("Quote:-For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.-Ivan Panin")
M

magics02

16 years ago

I hear ya Jayne C

I remember when we were having the cold ass winter as ever before you all there were having summer. I will send you some heat and you can send me some coolness.LOL It dosen't snow there does it, I know that probably a stupid question:) How many months do you experience the winter there? I am working on the pool and love to get in there to cool down after a long day at work. Thanks for the comment on the poem, did you see anything needs a tweak or twack LOL Hope you are feeling better, My son now is talking alot about joining the service and I thought about you and your son when he was talking to you about it. I told him I would support him while down in the pit of my stomach is cringing. sigh....... Thanks for the read Love and Peace Mona xoxo
hobo

hobo

16 years ago

very nice

This is a very nice read my friend, I really like the lines Let’s sit together, admiring this scene feelings of peace, quiet and serene Quiet of time in this place of love For a rainbow’s shower hovers above. I love to sit under a rainbows shower with a beautiful girl, it doesn't get any better than that :)
Electric Blue

Electric Blue

16 years ago

Underneath the Tree

Mona Where is this Tree for it will be the place for he and me. As for those cherries you say in your poem Pits was it meant to be Pips? I could taste with lips cherry red stained only to implant them on another the taste of love's sweet wine. Reminded me of my Poem Wine of Desire Electric blue