Geezer

Jun 02, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Divine Rain...

The Day that I Died

The red dawn was beautiful

It was so sunny

My eyes protected

By my welding mask, so dark

Birds burst into flame

Window melting...runs down wall

I duck and cower

Splatters of liquid sand fly

Blast of wind takes my breath now

Took my father too

No trace of neighborhood friends

The divine wind blows

And retribution follows

Our days are numbered

Darkness falls upon us...rain

Sickness is in my belly

Humanity lost

— Geezer, Jun 02, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: New York State - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Poe, Emily Dickenson, Robert Frost, Shakespeare, and many of the poets here at Neopoet.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Critiques

xena465

16 years ago

WoW Geezer

Love it, very deep. Kind of took me to the end of the world...Eerie, but effective. Xena

Geezer

16 years ago

I was working on the poem, when my step=son, who is a welder asked what I was doing. I told him that I was doing a poem about someone who was in Hiroshima on the day that the atomic-bomb was dropped, and that I wanted to make it so that he described it up close and personal. He said that if the person was a welder, they could see a lot without going blind, if they were wearing a welder's mask. This is the result.

lou

16 years ago

GEE

Full of Drama love lou xx

Geezer

16 years ago

It was...

the effect I was going for. I wanted to make it as dramatic as possible. I hope that the world never sees another atomic-bomb dropped. Period! Not in practice, and most certainly not in war! Love ya, ~ Gee xx

Nordic cloud

16 years ago

A scorpion of a poem,

Ann of Norway "Blast of wind takes my breath now Took my father too" Oh what a quaffing of the flames of life this way. Strangely sad My Sir Geezer, a scorpion of a poem, with the sun turning to rain with the coming of the tail round to take the final bite. Your Queen needs an explanation, she doesn't quite understand this but then she is no knight is she? Love from Ann.

Geezer

16 years ago

Explanation...

I was trying to describe what one would see, if they were at the site of the dropping of the atomic-bomb at Hiroshima. I also was trying to write a poem for the June contest. I don't think I quite made the connection with rain. But I am pleased with the result anyways. ~ Sir Gee, with love for the Queen, who tries to see thru the eyes of her knights.

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Gee

I think you are moving in a brilliant direction I can see your experimenting and I like what I see dear friend, I dont know anything about these but will have a read and see what I cant find out love and hugs JayCee x x x ("Quote:-For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.-Ivan Panin")

Geezer

16 years ago

Brilliance...

Is often in the eye of the beholder, as it certainly was with this man from Hiroshima. I have tried hard to give a picture of the horror on that day. The image of a bird bursting into flame as it flies past, and the glass melting from the casement of the window, were meant to evoke the terribleness. [ Is that a word?] The heat of that explosion, is only matched by the heat of an angry nation, for the atrocities in a war of domination. Hig bugs, and lotta love, ~ Gee

hardcorechick28

16 years ago

very deep

Very well written and deep. I had a feeling Jason might have given some insight when i saw the part about welding.

Geezer

15 years 12 months ago

Thank you...

The minute the welding mask came in, I thought it was a great way to show some of the horror. Imagine, to see a bird burst into flame, in the air! And, to see the glass melting from the windows. I made a mistake though. If the welding mask protected his face, why would he have burn marks on his face? I will have to see if there is something I can do to fix that. ~ Gee

DawningDaytripper

15 years 12 months ago

Wow, and I learned so much

Wow, and I learned so much Gee, that was AWESOME. I thinking of doing this months contest.... but I don't know. Sure don't have much chance, lol Julie D.D.

Geezer

15 years 12 months ago

You have...

every bit as good of chance, as anyone. As I said before, I'm sure that if you apply yourself like you usually do, you will do very well. I'm thinking that I may do another one of these, but not in Haiku. I want to explore the scene further. ~ Gee

Seren

15 years 12 months ago

Dearest Gee

Bravo again I am still working on my choka lol I've been busy the last week love and big hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x x x ("Quote:-For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.-Ivan Panin")

shirley harrison

15 years 12 months ago

wow you took my breath away!

Dear Geezer, beautiful poem,and you see through the eyes of someone else thats fantastic! great subject! shirley harrison

Geezer

15 years 12 months ago

Thank you...

so much. I tried to see what I thought someone might see, if they were there and saw the horror. The realisation, that their world was changed forever, in the space of a heartbeat. Glad you saw that, and that you could appreciate what I was doing. ~ Gee

Geezer

15 years 12 months ago