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Whiskurz
May 31, 2010 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

Pain

    I peer into the this place called pain That lies within my heart A place that's riddled with endless holes Like scars from an assassin's dart   A place that's filled with hollow dreams That ends in desolation Where darkness overtakes the light Void, of illumination   A loneliness, full of shattered hopes A barren and empty shell An eternal tomb of wretched screams A place that I call hell   Echoes of a love long gone A place where sorrow awaits Knowing not of right and wrong A den of reprobates   An endless maze that leads nowhere A deep and forgotten stain A shallow grave of tortured souls This place that I call pain            
— Whiskurz, May 31, 2010
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Critiques

S

scribbler

16 years 1 month ago

pain

physical pain isn't the only kind.......scribbler
xena465

xena465

16 years 1 month ago

Geeze this is so good

What a sad write Whiskurz! It may seem odd to say this, but I loved reading it...brilliant. Xena
BN

beautiful nightmare

16 years 1 month ago

wow

a very sad poem! very well written!
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 1 month ago

Can I say: another lyrical

Can I say: another lyrical and uncontrived beauty of a poem, indeed, painfully uncontrived, delightfully lyrical. ~ "Just as what you dream is your own and no one else can observe it, so the world you see is your own." ~ Nisargadatta
M

mantiscepter

16 years 1 month ago

Pain

Was kinda like going to an all you can eat restaurant ,. and having :a never ending selection of pain,pain, pain, pain .It Oh the pain of it all,was a very painful read. can I have a cup of coffee and a little pain with my poem.OUCH. I liked the write, was well written, some nice twists. and I loved... An eternal tomb of wretched screams. great line. John Mantiscepter
M

mantiscepter

16 years 1 month ago

Pain

Was kinda like going to an all you can eat restaurant ,. and having :a never ending selection of pain,pain, pain, pain .It Oh the pain of it all,was a very painful read. can I have a cup of coffee and a little pain with my poem.OUCH. I liked the write, was well written, some nice twists. and I loved... An eternal tomb of wretched screams. great line. John Mantiscepter
M

mantiscepter

16 years 1 month ago

Pain

Was kinda like going to an all you can eat restaurant ,. and having :a never ending selection of pain,pain, pain, pain .It Oh the pain of it all,was a very painful read. can I have a cup of coffee and a little pain with my poem.OUCH. I liked the write, was well written, some nice twists. and I loved... An eternal tomb of wretched screams. great line. John Mantiscepter
M

michael

16 years 1 month ago

RE: Pain

I thought that was excellent. I like a good pain poem. I don't know how experienced you are in poetry, I am not very experienced, but I like to write about my own experiences good/bad. Feel free to read mine if you're interested. Well done.

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