Gothic Midnight

I think that is how he feels. I can feel the surge of lust running through his blood in your words, very nice write my friend, very nice

Something is missing , perhaps not enough mystery , you've shown your cards to soon. At the start it sounded like Jack The Ripper but he became a vampire lol how did this happen Perhap a little tweaking here and there would spice it up some Chrys

I am with Chrys and her comment. I am a big fan of vampires and Jack the Ripper and I write about both in my "Eddy Styx" poems. So I did enjoy this piece. Always, Cat

I enjoyed this...dark is good...keeps us on our toes. Rosina xena465

How delicious this revision is. I would like to see you continue with the Jack The Ripper one Chrys

I like this one it's of the nature of another neopoet Kelsey Dies, though you style is very different. it sounds as if its about Jack the Ripper, though toward the end as if he is drinking her blood rather than slitting her throat. I enjoyed it though it was very dark, it was enthralling and the use of language was good. all i would change from the first stanza: the ladies of ill repute. I would remove the first "the" just put ladies of ill repute. other than that I wouldn't change a thing. hope that's clear. I see we are buddies now, write to me if you like. john this one certainly has the feel of the nineteenth century. not sure when bad Jack lived.

Great stuff, but your inadverdent rhyming throws it off a bit. Either rework it, so that it rhymes all the way through, or do away with rhyming all together. The title is good. Maybe tighten up the horrific line, by getting rid of the word [is] and just say: The horrific creature at her side. The logic is good all the way through, and the pacing is steady. A couple of spelling errors: 1] [W]rapped 2]enthrals needs another [L] I look forward to seeing more of this. ~ Love ya, ~ Gee

My favorite story of them all, one that has enraptured my life for the past twelve of my seventeen years. Everyone has offered some great suggestions, too. The update with the rewrite was really good. "Ladies of ill repute", wicked euphemism there! Perfect for the poem and time period! Kelsey