The Christmas Eve Caper

  I woke up on Christmas EveIt was late, in the middle of the nightWhen I saw him under the Christmas treeHe give me such a terrible fright I thought it must be a cat burglarWho was trying to steal from meAnd I had a 52 inch color televisionUnder that Christmas tree So I ran to the kitchen as fast as I couldTo try to find me a kinifeBut I just couldn't find one anywhereRemind me to have a talk with my wife Anyway, I grabbed up the toaster behind the breadThat was sitting on the cabinet shelfI snuck up behind him, like a ninja in sneakersAnd was planning on killing that elf Of course I didn't know it, at the time it occurredThat the fat man, was old Santa ClausIt wouldn't have mattered to me at allCause he touched my remote with his paws I almost had him, when I heard this soundThat was coming from my very own kitchenIt was, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, VixenComet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen Those eight tiny reindeer had attacked meI had hoofprints all over my headAnd that's when the fat man in the big red suitTurned around to me and he said "I'm just gonna borrow your color tv,So I can watch the football game""The one in my workshop is only 19 inches.And it's really too small and lame" Before I could tell him to forget it buddyI heard the sound of him slamming my doorThose eight bully reindeer had wrapped me in tinselAnd left me helpless on the livingroom floor Well, that was the last time I saw himAnd my tv was never returnedSo make sure you hide your color tv'sTake it from someone who's learned