Since I Could Not Look Upon Another:

1.7: "I dare not utter it" --> 'I dare not utter' ('a single word...I dare not utter' sounds less redundant than "a single word...I dare not utter it") 2.3: "would me bleed" --> 'would have me bleed' (to smooth out the flow) 3.9: "on nearth" --> 'on earth' 3.10: "onbly" --> 'only' 3.10: "maybe" --> 'may be' Seems you were in a rush to post this one John. The "slave to love" theme certainly isn't one of my favorites. I don't understand how/why people become attached/enamored to others the way they do. But to each their own. Enjoyed your imagery and word craft, as always! Kelsey PS: I've always wondered why you choose such stilted syntax/vocabulary. Just a preference, I suppose, but is there something more to it than that?

Annas suggestions are awesome ... but the poem itself is just beautiful ... sigh love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x ("Quote:-For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.-Ivan Panin")

The passion in this poem is sublime... I love passionate poetry, and a poet that is not afraid to show passion. Words, no matter how well "crafted", are just words. Forgotten once you're done reading the poem. Unless there's emotion involved; whatever the emotion is. Something to stir and stay in memory. That's one of the reasons I love the ancient poets; their passion! And that's one of the reasons I love your poetry too John. Keep your own very special touch. It's what makes your poetry unique. Anyway... another exquisite poem John. With my love, Raven A poet in ecstasy is a beautiful thing to behold. And a better thing to be.

Written in an old style, very nice. Your content is lovely. raskin

I agree with Raskin, written in an old style... And since you weren't alive back then I see you had some great teachers, most notably, William Blake, who is a shining sun in a world of darkness. Club Special~

I especially like these lines: for by your touch alone am I flesh and by your word do I awaken from the chains of slumber for once I had no rule but you do not wish to rule me you could not help but so for it is my soul that wills it so I am here because no place on earth exists for me there is only where my love maybe and where my love may not Dalton, your passion is palpable, the formal style is delightful.... thank you for this wonderful love poem. Leigh "The true miracle is not walking on water or walking in air, but simply walking on this earth." Thich Nhat Hanh

maybe it can be said that once we are sure of our own work, then we are sure to fall on our faces... Leigh "The true miracle is not walking on water or walking in air, but simply walking on this earth." Thich Nhat Hanh

John WoW words echo from my soul indeed every word mmmmmmm reminded me of my love my poem AS YOU SLUMBER A feeling that is always with me and will last all eternities Always Electric Blue