Have You Ever?

Have you ever seen a sunriseAs it climbs above the treesOr, maybe, when is finally setsAnd melts into the seas? Have you ever felt the wind blowAs it's whispers thru your hair?A force of nature we can't seeBut yet, we know, it's there Have you ever felt a raindropAs it's rolling down your cheekOr hear the sound the water makesAs it's running thru a creek? Have you ever seen the lightningAs it lights the darkened skiesOr watch an eagle spread his wingsAnd wonder how he flies? Have you ever heard the thunderAs it sounds it's mighty roar?Never wondering even once Is there something more? Have you ever watched a snowflakeAs it tumbles to the ground?Marveling at its silenceWhen it doesn't make a sound Have you ever thought of HeavenAnd maybe think it oddHow can someone see these thingsAnd not believe in God?

— Whiskurz, May 27, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Critiques

raskin

16 years ago

Have you ever seen the

Have you ever seen the northern lights mirrored in a still lake? I hope you break this down and elaborate on this.Some good stuff here to work with. raskin I see you reformated it, looks better.

scribbler

16 years ago

have you ever

beautiful visuals with flawless rhyme.Hats off to you......scribbler

raj

16 years ago

Ahh..

Thank you Whiskerz ...yes we see these heavenly wonders of nature which God has blessed us all with ...your poetry made them flow right before my eyes and not just see them but feel the beauty and the moods they create...you have re-created them in such beautifull and simple verse forms.... gratefully....raj (sublime_ocean)...

Candlewitch

16 years ago

Hello

Nice to meet you. Beautiful, with stunning imagery. Nice rhyming. Always, Cat

magics02

16 years ago

Hello again

I like this one and would love to give it a tidying up and will do so only if you give me the go ahead and do not feel offended shall I offer what I see as a readere. I do like the flow and it is very nice, a littel to touch it up and it will be great. Let me know as in all honesty I would like to give this feedback. Mona

Hooded Stranger

16 years ago

Whiskurz,I thought your poem

Whiskurz, I thought your poem created some beautiful imagery and made nature seem calm and tranquil. I enjoyed your tight rhyming style too, it had a good flow and tempo. You got me thinking about the natural events that we see everyday and realised there is a darker side to the light side of nature as portrayed in your wonderful poem. So I created an alternative piece. This isn't intended to insult your poem, which I thoroughly enjoyed, but was more of a 'bringing a balance' to nature and its positive and negative attributes. My poem needs much work, but what you see was the raw version as I visualised your words and compared my own thoughts. Have you ever seen a land dry & dead Evaporating the last watering hole Animals and people die of thirst Has our God lost control Have you ever seen a tidal wave Turn the land into a hell hole Children drown and homes wrecked Has our God lost all control Have you ever seen a tornado Rip apart the flourishing land Leaving devastation in its path Lost control from our Gods hand Have you ever seen a earth quake Turn our homes into a wasteland Killing life without a thought Lost control from our Gods hand Have you ever looked at Heaven And maybe think it odd That all this destruction Could be caused by an unseen God kindest regards, HS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth and yet nobody sees me".

Race_9togo

16 years ago

Not bad

Not particularly original, but not bad at all. Good rhythm and rhyme, and the imagery is good. Some of your other work is a bit wordy, but I do not see that here, you've done a good job paring it down to the essentials. The last verse could do with losing the first question mark and replacing it with a comma instead. This would make the lines flow better. Right now, it stutters a bit at that point. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

Kailashana

16 years ago

Love the juxtopositioning,

Love the juxtopositioning, HS. It might be truly interesting to see how your poetry evolves, from tried and true visions to those that leap off the page, so to speak. ~ "Just as what you dream is your own and no one else can observe it, so the world you see is your own." ~ Nisargadatta