Unrequited

or is he somewhat unrequited too? Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible, "the alleged short-cut to knowledge, which is faith, is only a short-circuit destroying the mind." [Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged]

Sounds HOT...I've had a few dreams like that, but not for a while...I like it. Just a couple of things you may want to fix... In the darkness of the {night ,}in my dreams ……{needs a space} {Im} intoxicated by your touch, you’re divinity on this earth ………[I’m] Rosina xena465

To be critical, but The only thing I can say, is... It's too short, and you should maybe leave off the word [memorizing]. Great work! Do you have these dreams often? Put down that pen, and go out and enthrall some man with your lovely words, you will both feel better in the morning. LOL ~ Gee

Quit messing with my man, HA! Yummy poem! ~A "Just as what you dream is your own and no one else can observe it, so the world you see is your own." ~ Nisargadatta

I have to agree with Gee on this one I felt it could have been longer ... there was a bulid up but I felt the ending was a kind of anti climax ... I know that this is a great poem with a little work, I will be watching the edits :) love and hugs Jayne-Chloe x x ("Quote:-For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.-Ivan Panin")

The first two lines, imo, do not need the *contained within* as it already is a given. I try to excise those type of superfluous words, they just aren't necessary. So some folks want a longer poem? Ha! Let's give 'em one! (I made some changes for your edification or not!) I map the contours of your body memorizing each muscle, each sinew my eyes caress the smoothness of your skin I long to bite your forbidden fruit, I long to devour you and allow the juice to soak my chin in the darkness of the night, in my dreams I know the weight, the feel of you, I know your girth I am intoxicated by your touch, your divinity in my earth. ~A "Just as what you dream is your own and no one else can observe it, so the world you see is your own." ~ Nisargadatta

Your edit is perfection...what a big difference. It was great before, now it's brilliant. Rosina xena465

wooo weee gal this poem gives me visions of sugar plumbs dancing in my head :)

Longer and then longer with the longing, eh? Well done me lady! ~A "Just as what you dream is your own and no one else can observe it, so the world you see is your own." ~ Nisargadatta

Unrequited lover I dare venture forth My lady, Despite your unrequited entity And Praise you for the raw truth, You blazon with a woman like A serpentine Amazon, Without any abandon I dare take chances with you, As all my critics are within your loo, They shall all come to fore And see me devoured In raw nakedness, Once I attach myself, With you any more Still I take a chance and say, I love the raw truth, What ever you say, For cowards die many a times, I’m no coward that, I’d die only but once Yes by my own sword Not yours, Nor theirs, They only lure, My love for humanity Is simply pure So I admire you that much, Even if it be a wee bit, Maybe that much more