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Song of my Richie Rich Hart

You bring me to climax without a single touch, You make my body wither by the sheer sound of your voice, A disembodiment of mind and soul, Dreams of holding tightly and rolling steadily on a California beach, Thoughts of pleasure pumped and joy jumped that happened on a Boston road, Unescaped breaths stuck and locked behind the esophagus, Weakened knees bended and buckled from our locking of eyes, Two different paths, Two unknown places, Two familiar mug shots, Two people intertwined into one impossible decision, One person that must choose the path, the place, and the mug, The people don’t matter, The decision doesn’t matter, For the decision will remain undecided, Two people from whom I cannot choose, Therefore I am forced to toughen up in order to forget the desires I have for them both.
— RobeccaJane Lee-Murchison, May 25, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: New York, USA

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Critiques

Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years ago

I LOVE THIS!

in so many places, in some many ways, but for a few small details - which I will clarify. It speaks with the voice of many a 'FALLEN WOMAN' and it resonnates for all those who've stumbled along the way! lol IMHO - take out the Oesophagus - (surgically lol) it sounds too physiological - not POETIC enough! I would also omit the last two lines... the statement is already inferred in the piece and this distracts from it! ok!! You go girl! May the best man win! ;) Bonitaj
A

Atticus

15 years 11 months ago

I’d say Bonitaj’s

I'd say Bonitaj's suggestions are on point. I think the piece reads raw and emotional which I would expect was intended. Very enjoyable and entertaining write. Nice work. Be well, Nathaniel
RobeccaJane Lee-Murchison

RobeccaJane Le…

15 years 11 months ago

thanks

why thanks to you. i really appretiate you taking the time, not only to read, but to comment, on my work, it really warms the cockles of my heart, straight to the core. MUAH CHEEKY