the lake is sweet

the canoe floats settled down
like a bowl
we glide across the surface
this calm night
the moon has fled
only the aurora and the
ripples from the bow
and her pale arm draped
over the side

shes resting with her head
between my legs
the j-stroke pushs us out
pushs us through the mirrored
beauty majestic and silent
her red hair lush and fragrant
with gel

her feet pointed toward the bow
the night doesnt say anything
a bird calls far out past the
island

we are almost there
the deepest part
the spring fed waters cold
and green tinted

the stars so vivid it makes me want
to live forever
but I know I wont

shes so beautiful

— Esker, May 23, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: north ontario, CAN

Favorite Poets: Klo , .., Ida, .., Rhiannon1010, .., Pleiades, .., Valryianne, .., Ester, .., Stephanie, .., Emina Smajevic, ..., Elefentee, ..., Sommer Lyn, ..., Jasmine, ..., Rula, ...

Critiques

Esker

16 years ago

Miss B

one of the last times we were together We enjoyed that night it was so very beautiful we still talk about it the aurora in our northern hemisphere is beyond describing it truly is the solar "wind" that entrances much like our attraction and excitement still when we talk of that night we would get the sickening excitement going over that deep part of the lake a thrill we shared and she was so trusting to even allow her hand to trail in the water it was so nice to have had that one of our memories we share still (so when you read this B I still remember everything with great fondness)

Kailashana

16 years ago

I can sense it all, how

I can sense it all, how extraordinary, how lucky for me to share this lucky life of yours. ~A "Just as what you dream is your own and no one else can observe it, so the world you see is your own." ~ Nisargadatta

pleiades

16 years ago

there is so much i

there is so much i like about this the time taken to set the scene... no hurrying, your words easily show the reader your memory and it becomes theirs no grand words no sweeping phrases just lovely, lyrical phrasing that flows along like the lake water under the canoe a memory captured still so alive and full of sound, movement, feeling your last 5 lines are a fantastic ending and the very last line? staggeringly beautiful in its honest simplicity sometimes, the honest simplicity carries the most power you really do take the reader on a journey with you... i tell you truly, that's a gift .... there is a couple of spots where i think the line breaks could be tweaked to help pause and emphasis i'll say if you're interested, but if you're happy as is, that's no problem p

Esker

16 years ago

Pleiades

as Artist to artist please suggest what you have in mind for this im much open I havent done this since high school when we walked about looking at each others works I greatly trust your instinct on this and am looking forward to working on some poetry I very much enjoyed this comment Thank You Esker~

pleiades

16 years ago

e…here it is with the line

e...here it is with the line breaks i thought the canoe floats settled down like a bowl we glide across the surface this calm night the moon has fled only the aurora and the ripples from the bow and her pale arm draped over the side shes resting with her head between my legs the j-stroke pushs us out pushs us through the mirrored beauty majestic and silent her red hair lush and fragrant with gel her feet pointed toward the bow the night doesnt say anything a bird calls far out past the island we are almost there the deepest part the spring fed waters cold and green tinted the stars so vivid it makes me want to live forever but I know I wont shes so beautiful there wasn'tmuch tweaked... just a couple of lines in stanzas 2,3,5 i changed the breaks where for me, i naturally paused when reading this beautiful work. use it or lose it e, it is of no matter. if i offer suggestions, they are merely that, suggestions. at the end of the day, it's your work, the only one whose opinion really matters, is your own did i say how beautiful this is? ...sigh... p

Grassfield

16 years ago

Bard...

your words of beauty are so poignant...i recall so many precious memories...a rare gift...you take the reader deep...and set them adrift within their own thoughts...another magical moment...very much enjoyed

bunnymug

16 years ago

yes, you will...

in these beautiful writes....

Esker

16 years ago

writing writing words whirling memories churning

hot in here greenhouse warm outside the door the air conditioner drones on like a flight to dreamland never ending as long as the electricity snakes in through its wire lead like this computer whirring away like the night full of its fate humid the storm north of here flashing dully in its heart one day maybe us the fat raindrops falling must go tired exhausted and heat struck dreams and Ikea Alarm clock in its green lcd dial waking me and work with CBC plaster sculpting and coffee conversation and heat on the way home such is luxurious summer cresting like the hot white cap on the wave the wind ferocious and laughing like the keen eyed gull poised rippling on its wing ~

Esker

15 years 11 months ago

Miss B

We are writing again this event happened the electricity coursing through us leaning against me we both savoured it old lovers sometimes never break that bond but keep it sacred such the depth of intimacy shes a red head Six feet tall transcriber in a well established institution with large expressive eyes smokey hazel we are always wanting to call each but refrain Our voices melting hearts long frozen our laughter melding but such writing again we always reconnect