Finishing The Unfinished

Can't it already all be over
For months hardly finding myself sober

Can't go on living like this
Self-distruction ain't no bliss

Somehow unable to show my tears
Doubt them after all these years

Past it seems I can't let go
The future I refuse to get to know

Giving a lot just to forget
Even more to eliminate regret

I only know what you allow me to
You know everything I don't want you to

For every mistake, for any fight
I've done a hundred things right

In the end all left unknown
To pieces it's been blown

Falling asleep, escaping what's too unfair
Waking up, falling into the same nightmare

I have long forgotten about my dreams
Silently existing in unfinished schemes

How's it still impossible not to bother
When happiness shouldn't depend on any other

Not sure how much is left in me
Less sure about the things I see

Laying on the ground, seemingly broken
All these demons have been awoken

Wishing for one more peaceful day
Forced into hurting myself this way

Over answers one could never find
Deliberately they've been held behind

Should come up with a way of blaming you
Instead slowly killing myself is what I do

Continiously throwing away health
Obviously history repeats itself

Life and money wasted to see unclear
What a ridiculous way to deal with fear

Devestatingly unreal feels all I believe
Wondering, is this what you needed to achieve

'Cause if this means being free
My life is lost to some degree

God invited me once to join for dinner
Left me here living like a sinner

Then sent me the ultimate gift
Took it away, my earth would shift

Now nothing could possibly reach matter
So how is all this really for the better

Darkness is already beginning to take over the sun
Absolve me of whatever you think it is that I have done

At last a storm's impending from which I cannot hide
And once it reigns there'll be nothing left inside