"good bye to fred & Ginger"

  Good bye to Fred & Ginger!

Dearest Fred

I am sorry to write this to you

Well actually that’s a lie

You’re a rotten little shit

And a first class grumpy git

Your breath stinks

As for the sex

Eyes wide shut snoring

Reading cosmopolitan

Always did the trick

And as for your glass eye

Sorry you can’t find it

I used it yesterday

To play marbles

It went on to the road

And I’m afraid it’s gone

I don’t want to make a fuss

But it rolled under a bus

Or it could have been a lorry

I don’t even feel sorry

You grumpy good for nothing

Git

As for Ginger the cat

You can have that

Possessed by the devil

All it did was scratch

As for my plants

Stuff them up your arse

As for my clothes

They weren’t exactly loui vitton

So you can have those as well

I’m sure you’ve tried them on

As for my le Crueuset pan set

I’m not leaving those with you

Cooking gives me such pleasure

Especial when I cooked for you

Pedigree chum special

Every Friday at 7

That’s why I went out with the girls

Italian food for us

Rabbit and chicken for you

Of course in a stew

Serves you right you

Grumpy old git

And thanks for the loan of your toothbrush

It’s hard to clean the rim

Of the basin of the toilet

As I right this I have a giant grin

As for that bloke

The one I found attached

You can have him too

I mean I went away for the day

And you taken to be gay

When all you had to do

Is tell the truth and say

I wouldn’t have been cross

I wouldn’t have been sad

The thing that makes me unhappy

Is I found you with my dad!

Yours sincerely,

Shirley Harrison.

Tatal Fiction!  or not!