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I am immortal

Seeing you walking down our beach
Sends chills up my spine
The sunset is behind you
Because nothing comes before you

The warmth of your soul
Puts the sparkle in your eyes
The tenderness of your way
Puts the smile on my face

When you speak
I listen
When you sing
I dream

When you touch my face
I am weak
When you tell me you love me
I am strong

When you kiss my lips
I am immortal

— hobo, May 14, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

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Critiques

jetz

jetz

16 years ago

This is positively

This is positively beautiful. "The sunset is behind you Because nothing comes before you" Those two lines gave me goosebumps. Fantastic poem of love. Jetz
hobo

hobo

16 years ago

Thank you

Thank you very much for your kind words, those are my favorite two lines also
theladyblue

theladyblue

16 years ago

Stunning...

Pieces like this blind me and make it hard to critique so forgive me as I swoon and stay a while in this this place... <3 Emarie "i read you and see…that between the pen, paper and you…there is little room for me…" ~ heart breaker~ Go Live & Get Rewarded!!! Check us out at http://www.neopoet.com/forum/20761 & the Community Calender!!!
hobo

hobo

16 years ago

Wow

Wow such kind words, you flatter me, there is always a little room for you my friend
A

anonymous1

16 years ago

Awesome

Great love poem. Thanks, Lisa
hobo

hobo

16 years ago

Thank you Lisa

Thank you for your comment Lisa, it is good to see you. how did you like my bricks?
A

anonymous1

16 years ago

Oh Geez...

I'm so sorry. I meant to get back to you on Bricks. I loved it. Why don't you post it? Forgive me, Lisa
judyanne

judyanne

16 years ago

wonderful write randy

and a beautiful tribute to someone i'll be back to read this again love judy xx http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TwentyMyPrettyPonies.html
SH

shirley harrison

16 years ago

was that written to me? L:O:L

wow Hobo the great strikes again, oooh i wish someone would really write something like that for me! did you write it for someone in your life? Breathtaking love poem! shirley harrison
hobo

hobo

16 years ago

its for you

well this is written for any pretty girl I meet and you are certianly are a beautiful girl. ah just don't tell me wife I wrote this one for you ;)
SH

shirley harrison

16 years ago

she's sitting next to me

My god she has a great frown! Mrs Hobo wants to write something in return, "Darling Randy go to see this poets new poem and see what will happen to you tonight i will start cooking amediately! Love from Mrs Hobo" shirley harrison
M

magics02

16 years ago

Beautiful Hobo

50 stars as this one touched my heart, what a great write here, a love poem for someone you see perhaps, thank you for this one an it is a keeper!!! Love,Mona xoxox TIME well spent is TIME well lived
hobo

hobo

16 years ago

50 stars

Mona my beautiful friend, 50 stars wow thank you so much. you have now offically made this the best day of my life haha. thank you so very much for your kind words
SH

shirley harrison

16 years ago

you dont do stars!

oh hippy poet get down off your high horse and be part of this workshop you really break my arse when you announce you dont do stars! do or dont your opinion is small so stop pointing it out you look like an arse hole! shirley harrison
jetz

jetz

16 years ago

Forgive me Hobo/Randy for hijacking your poem for a minute

After trying to talk with you respectfully in a PM, to no avail, Shirley Harrison, I will simply speak plainly here. You have no business calling anyone an asshole. The rating system here or other groups has always been something that has come under debate. Not everyone agrees that it is benificial. Personally, I know many that never use "stars," but none the less, their opinions are valuable critique. Were you to write something I liked and I responded by telling you it was phenominal, but left no stars...would you find that offensive? Would I , as you so eloquently put it to Huey, be an arse hole ? Huey states that he does not give stars out of respect. He does not want anyone to feel he slighted them. He never gives stars. You did say this is a workshop, right???? How would you suggest a person mention to another writer that their writing shows talent, but their spelling is distracting? Inquiring minds want to know?!
SH

shirley harrison

16 years ago

Hobo I am so sorry

Jetz i have never had a comment from you and i have been here for 2 months so please do not Private message me to complain about my spelling i can take critism very well from people who join my comment box i would have taken gladly from you too! but as for Stars i couldnt care less either but there is no need to high light the fact you do not give them every time people understand! Its a work shop and we are here to learn. Dearest Hobo I am so sorry that this has come to your comment box,please forgive me. shirley harrison
Seren

Seren

16 years ago

Dear Randy

Sigh all you guys are making me jealous of all the lucky woman getting these poems lol wonderful poetry dear man ... my new favourite from you a beautiful wise woman said to me once ... poetry and poet is thus born ... I have missed reading you all this week so bare with me as I catch up with all the writes I missed ... love and biggest hugs Jayne-Chloe x x x ("Quote:-For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.-Ivan Panin")
xena465

xena465

16 years ago

Gosh Hobo...

Sometimes you come across as a `lady killer`...just kidding, but this beautiful poem tells me different...you have a great true romantic heart and I hope your lady knows this. I really love this stanza... Seeing you walking down our beach Sends chills up my spine The sunset is behind you Because nothing comes before you Rosina xena465
hobo

hobo

16 years ago

I wish

I wish I was a lady killer lol. I try to be but it is hard to be a lady killer when you are old and a slight and I mean slight bit chubby hahaha. thanks for the comments