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M
mantiscepter
May 12, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Sharing Worlds

 Lithe like reflections
are shadows from afar

Dancing 'cross a moonlit court
like extensions from the stars

an almost rhythm a soothing  calm
a message for those who see

reaching like eternity 
to join and comfort me.

 
— mantiscepter, May 12, 2010

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Country/Region: USA

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Critiques

A

Arrow

16 years ago

I enjoyed this poem except for the "like's"

I feel they could all be removed (except for the last and "from" seems more appropriate) and the poem would be stronger, more elegant. This poem has delicate images, delicate form and appropriately sparse verbiage. The "like's" strike me as dead weight.