embers of man

the living tales of men in graves forgotten
like Iduns golden apples, never found rotten
breath to sway morals from other's adversity
proof of goodness overthrowing dark vortices

the light in the air shows the shade and the hue
where more are found better than those bitter few
a lining of silver round cavernous minds
in which bounds are endless and all is entwined

so fallen leaves stoke the fire
a-rise, the flame seeking higher
no matter the size, nor the deed of an ember
it shall fend to flock souls for now and forever

— Bloodstone, May 09, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: South Africa, ZAF

Critiques

billie

16 years 1 month ago

had to look up “idun”,

had to look up "idun", "goddess of spring, keeper of the golden apples of youth". wow, generated many thoughts and many opinions. the 1st of which was, can people still write like that? then the obvious set in, and joy, that yes they can.

Bloodstone

16 years 1 month ago

Glad it caught your interest

Thank you for your comment, I do appreciate what you wrote. I'm glad your interest was sparked here. I'm happy with this poem, making it one of few. It was one of those brain overflows, wrote it basically off the cuff. My mind was there and the hand just swept the keys automatically, seemingly, indeed. Wish I lived in that state... Peace

Rhiannon

16 years ago

Inspirational

Hey. I know exactly what you mean billie. THe wrigting style was beautifull.

Hooded Stranger

16 years ago

Not so keen.

Bloodstone, not so keen on this one as I am of your other writes. I think it an intelligent write and I can see the message being delivered, but I think it rhymed too much and some rhymes almost felt forced. I would have been inclined to structure it this way: the living tales of men in graves forgotten like Iduns golden apples, never found rotten breath to sway morals from other’s adversity proof of goodness overthrowing dark vortices so fallen leaves stoke the fire a-rise, the flame seeking higher no matter the size, nor the deed of an ember it shall fend to flock souls for now and forever the light in the air shows the shade and the hue where more are found better than those bitter few a lining of silver round cavernous minds in which bounds are endless and all is entwined (no rhyme on this last line as in the last line of the first stanza) Just my opinion my friend, regards, HS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth and yet nobody sees me".