a wind cometh 'round to face with the cycle of the seasons...

Wonderous majesty, the orchestration of the sky,
Obsolete, ne'er far, we're nearing good-bye.

Solar magnitude steals the idea of vast beginnings,
Bringing forth the feeling of emptiness.

Re-cognise the seems of creation
We have ripped and torn to abortion.
Now wonder hauntings scar deeper still,
We've sunken to remove true emotion.

Conjure thoughts once close to embrace.
That is the birth, return to face.

— Bloodstone, May 07, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: South Africa, ZAF

Critiques

Bloodstone

16 years ago

Thank you

for your short, yet most welcome response

Hooded Stranger

16 years ago

Somehow...

...you've created an image beyond the words. It would normally take a much longer in-depth piece to create the visuals wrapped in this piece, but you did it with simplicity. Re-cognise the seems of creation We have ripped and torn to abortion. Now wonder hauntings scar deeper still, We’ve sunken to remove true emotion. Great stanza and i love the little play on words "re-cognise". Seems or seams? Add nothing else to this piece, it works as it is. This is your best posted thus far. Not keen the 500 word title! Lol! Good job! HS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth and yet nobody sees me".

Bloodstone

16 years ago

Thank you HS and

Thank you HS and Darknlovely3436, It seems that you understood what I was trying to get across with this piece. That means a lot. To me it's more of a feeling, when reading, than words. That's the really hard part about poetry, a string of words read in particular states of mind can appear more or less appealing. :)The long title is just a reflection of my mind when reading this. Also I thought it was funny, and a nice contrast to the doomy undertone thereafter. I dunno, anyone got a better title??

Hooded Stranger

16 years ago

Bloodstone

The test is getting that feeling across with words...at least with song you can add a melody and sound to help give the feeling, but cold words on a white page...not easy...but you did it my friend. A shorter title than your 800 word one: Solar magnitude steals the idea of vast beginnings,Bringing forth the feeling of emptiness. LOL! HS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth and yet nobody sees me".