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Caterpillar wish

.

It was unexpected

It came after the loving,
after impassioned declarations
and the touch
that reached
deeper than blue

It arrived uninvited

We lay there
spent,
serpentine
across rumpled sheets
,
with the delicate balance
of promise
swaying before us

shining
like the polish of silver
on starched white linen

.


— pleiades, May 06, 2010

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Critiques

M

magics02

16 years 1 month ago

You go girl

Now this is some damn good stuff here!! Loved it and nice to see you. Keep in touch and I shall do the same. Nice piece of work friend Love, Mona TIME well spent is TIME well lived
P

pleiades

16 years 1 month ago

thanks mona for such

thanks mona for such positive words... i'll visit for a read when i've caught up with reviews cheers p.
Seren

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Dearest P

Beautifully done lovely ... I see nothing to crit Bow love and hugs JayCee x x x ("Quote:-For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.-Ivan Panin")
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 1 month ago

This is poetry, “shining

This is poetry, "shining like the polish of silver on starched white linen." Delicious! ~A "The plain man is familiar with blindness and deafness, and knows from his everyday experience that the look of things is influenced by his senses, but it never occurs to him to regard the whole world as a creation of his senses." ~ Ernst Mach
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 1 month ago

Pleiades...

I loved the title, drew me in for the read... and the poem was excellent and the title is so fitting of the slow of loves move... a real joy to read and ponder on. Richard
P

pleiades

16 years 1 month ago

so glad the title drew you

so glad the title drew you in, even gladderer (!) you enjoyed. 'the slow of loves move'...great phrase thank you richard cheers p
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 1 month ago

all the above but...

got to ask about that seemingly errant punctuation, it really works, but now make me look a fool and tell me it was accidental. Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible, "the alleged short-cut to knowledge, which is faith, is only a short-circuit destroying the mind." [Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged]
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 1 month ago

I’m betting it is no

I'm betting it is no accident (when one notices).... ~A "The plain man is familiar with blindness and deafness, and knows from his everyday experience that the look of things is influenced by his senses, but it never occurs to him to regard the whole world as a creation of his senses." ~ Ernst Mach
P

pleiades

16 years 1 month ago

weirdelf...

make you look like a fool? NEVAH!!! errant punctuation completely deliberate you're spoiling me... compliments AND comments aww shucks...
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 1 month ago

Hello

I love the way the poem seems to meander. It is soft, like a prayer. my favorite lines are: It came after the loving, after impassioned declarations and the touch that reached deeper than blue *sigh... Always, Cat
Esker

Esker

16 years 1 month ago

seen

of scene up all night windy dark birds singing and then read this Poetry makes one double take like Twiggs sitting in the corner fitting in and not this write is splendid and is constructed delicate like woven strands of silk memory strength is in the whole and beauty is in the single line Thank You Pleiades Esker~
P

pleiades

16 years ago

thank you e, for

thank you e, for your beautiful words "like woven strands of silk memory strength is in the whole and beauty is in the single line" P.
Esker

Esker

16 years ago

Wear silk ties

my vanity that i afford and button downs and good poetry like this Esker~
R

Restlesslittlesoul

16 years ago

Amazing!

That´s all I can say. Truly amazing. http://restlesslittlesoul.webs.com
P

pleiades

15 years 12 months ago

thank you restless, for such

thank you restless, for such lovely words... i'm glad you like this welcome to neo i look forward to reading you cheers p