Quite Possibly The Worst Poem Ever Written

Cat you really hit the nail on the head with this one! I had one , he wasnt after money he was just a dog with 3 dicks and so he made me low,and he didnt even see, this could have been written just to me "fantastic" Much love to you Cat, you are truly an insperation! shirley harrison

I am not sure what metering is but I sure like this poem, very nice my friend

it is about creating a rhythm using the naturally stressed syllables in words we say the LANguage is the SAME ONly the EMphasis is DIFFerent that is the way we naturally stress that sentence, now read how weird this sounds out loud the lanGUAGE is THE same onLY the emPHASis is diffERent when you choose words that create a pattern of stressed "feet" that is meter. The most common forms are: iambic- da DAA da DAA da DAA trochaic- DAA da DAA da DAA da anapestic- da da DAA da da DAA da da DAA dactylic- DAA da da DAA da da DAA da da note that meter can cross between words he DID | not WEAR | his SCAR | let CLOAK so sometimes two or three unstressed syllable can kind of merge, without breaking the rhythm. it shows clearly in this classic limerick, which despite being humourous is a very strict form: There WAS an old LAdy from CLYDE who ATE forty APPles and DIED the APPles ferMENTed inSIDE the laMENTed and made CIDer in SIDE her inSIDE hope that helps more than confuses. Read some HW Longfellow, especially "Hiawatha", he was a master of metrical form. [your content here is not linguistically up to your usual outstanding standard, but who cares when you are taking risks with expanding you creative pallette?] Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible, "the alleged short-cut to knowledge, which is faith, is only a short-circuit destroying the mind." [Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged]

My understanding is ten counts per line and I think you were perfectly spot on with that, I counted on my fingers lol ... I am just learning different forms myself, last month I actually got my aliteration poem right lol which suprised me but I was happy that I finally got the concept round my head ... self teaching isnt easy well done dear one love and hugs JayCee x x x ("Quote:-For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.-Ivan Panin")

it is the natural rhythm of language carefully controlled. Cat did you write this in response to the May contest challenge? If so the four basic meter patterns I outlined above could give you a starting point. One of the most popular forms of meter is called iambic pentameter, which just means 5 "da DAA"s (iambs) per line, that would be 5 "feet" per line, which it sounds like you are trying for. However the contest calls for you to design a new meter. Frankly I couldn't do it. Once meters become more complex than da DAA or da da DAA they start to lose rhythm, like a drum solo on acid. Talking about it this clinically makes it sound harder than it is. When your verse flows you are probably using some form of meter unconsciously. Cheers, Jess, Reprehensibly irrepressible, "the alleged short-cut to knowledge, which is faith, is only a short-circuit destroying the mind." [Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged]

Jess, thanks for the tour around meter. The way I learned it is in as of a drum beat. There's a cadence. Always the heart beat of poetry, no matter which *stylized* form... ~A "The plain man is familiar with blindness and deafness, and knows from his everyday experience that the look of things is influenced by his senses, but it never occurs to him to regard the whole world as a creation of his senses." ~ Ernst Mach

excellent for a first time.I do not know definition of meter, but in verse length sometimes less is more

First, I am happy to see you experimenting with style and meter. In these cases we must be willing to get things wrong before we get them right. That sounds so simple but to get them wrong we have to display work that may need help and then we must listen to that help. Meter, in my mind, must support the rhythm of a conversation and thus the recent (last 70 years or so) invention of the "Poetry Voice" with its stilted, "I am smarter than you" condescending tone has made people uncertain and even unhappy with meter. This is not a tangent. The first rule of comedy and reproduction is timing. When timing is correct, wonderful things happen. When timing is not correct, the results may not be as desired. It is the same thing with poetry in general and meter specifically. Jess has given an excellent overview of the types of stress used to support standard meter and for folks just starting out, this is a great guide. The downside is that it can create a sing-song feel to a piece if we are not careful. Whenever I am writing a metered piece, I take the subject and inspiration and then define what meter I will use, then sketch out the stanza and rhyme/no rhyme structure, then chose the words to support these decision and when I hit a spot where line will not work I will place syllable markers in the line to remind me I know I need to fix it. Syllable markers, for me, a single capital X, let me flesh out an idea and line without actually completing it. Once I have the rough work done I will go back and recite the line or stanza aloud and see where I twist my natural speech patterns to accommodate the structure. Wherever this happens, I re-arrange and change to make the line seem as natural as possible. This is my style and supports my concept that poetry should be a conversation that happens to be in verse. I do not say it is a better or worse method, just a method I have used with success. Let me break down short poem to explain what I mean: Concept: Fruit Tree Meter: tetrameter (4 feet or eight syllables) Stress: Mixed In a grove where once I wandered I sat beneath a tree and pondered The setting sun and silvered clouds Through emerald leaves and ruby crowds Ok, that's the first part. There are many problems, not the least of which is line 4 really exists just to support line 3 but neither adds anything to the poem nor compels the story and thus does not compel the reader. But, my initial thought of a fruit tree evolved into a reference to jewels growing on tress which led me to think about the ground beneath a tree and the "spoiled" jewels which led me to think about the value based order we impose on jewels which led me in an entirely new direction. Oh and line 2 is a syllable long and needs more purpose. So let's see what I can do with this: A sacred acre in the wood Stands testament to opulence For here in trees of bounty bright Are blossoms of prosperity Sapphire Summer, Ruby Autumn Diamond Winter, Emerald Spring But should we once scorn the harvest Dull gravel is our apt reward. Now this is not a great piece, and I used the hell out of a thesaurus as a shortcut to find words with the right syllable counts to fit the vision that had evolved. I discarded the rhyme because in such a short piece it can become the focus rather than adding to the feel I am trying to create. And at times, we think we are rhyming and creating art when actually we are sacrificing story to fit rhymed words. But there are two tests that are critical. 1) When read, does it make sense? 2) When spoken, does it have a good mouth feel? Mouth feel is the term I use to describe how words at times create stumbles merely because of their structure and proximity to other words. For your next experiment in meter, I would just start by telling a story in your normal fashion and the retrofitting meter onto it. I believe you'll find it both easier and more satisfying.

Im feeling pretty think too darlin . . I thought i had finally gotten a grasp of meter but after reading jess and jonathans comments ? Im going to have to try and get it around my head because im sure what i thought was right ? Is most probaby wrong lol now whose a daft twit x x love ya take care this week JayCee ("Quote:-For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.-Ivan Panin")

You Are Right In our times There were no metres, We dealt in yards and inches May be miles… See how time flies It’s by metres Now that they weigh The worth of man In our time it was plain and simple Six feet and six inches… LOVED ONCE

I do not have long paragraphs of things to say, I never do! I just wanted you to know I really loved this poem. You were one of the first poets I read when I came to Neopoet, and you have always been a favorite of mine. Elizabeth

this bloody poem is awesome and I enjoyed what I read and it flowed well to me, and as for all this correctness in the way poetry supposedly has to be written in this style or that, is beyond me also. Yep, I just go with the flow. I think you have written this well. My opinion in laymans terms. Love ya Cat. XX