LOVE'S CROWN OF THORNS

He recoiled -a tightly wound spiral of barbed wire,laceratingoutstretched hands,haemorragingher heart. She ricochets backto an earlier time -before expectationexised energyfrom the coal faceof Love's fire. Thorns of rejectiondig deep in the fleshHis stark silence -

imaginary positsthat demarcate herprison yard... BjR 6 May '10

— Bonitaj, May 06, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Tip of Southern Africa, ZAF

Favorite Poets: Too many to narrow down, but briefly :, AUDEN, T.S. ELIOT, DICKENSON, RILKE, THOREAU, RUMI ... the list is endless. Am inspired by many, especially those that live lives of "quiet desperation, and go to the grave with a song still in them" (THoreau)

Critiques

Orphani

16 years 1 month ago

the precise intensity of the

the precise intensity of the metaphors imparts the visionary power to feel the cut of sharp steel as an emotional experience. Stark and stainless. A bloodletting A crucifiction. You nailed it. crit: I thought "bountiful" was a bit gratuitous. "He recoiled - a tightly wound spiral of barbed wire, lacerating outstretched hands, haemorraging" A poem that is not told as much as felt. "before expectation exised energy from the coal face of Love’s fire" "His stark silence - imaginary posits that demarcate her prison yard…" kick ass lines A poem that is not as much heard as it is felt. B

Bonitaj

16 years 1 month ago

Hey Orphani!

How great to have you back on my page again! and boy! did you nail the description smack on target! I'm so glad you could read as much into it as I had intended. This came as I rode past a storage space encircled with barbed wire! I saw it so graphically!! I agree on the "bountiful" in excess, indeed! THanks a mil! Bonitaj

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Dear Boni

Loved this one but that first stanza threw me off ... he recoils but shes the one lacerated lol by the barbwire ... loved it except my mind kept wanting to make sense of the first stanza and i couldnt ... I will be back huni it could be me ive had ... one of 'those' days lol (hugs) love JayCee x x ("Quote:-For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.-Ivan Panin")

Bonitaj

16 years 1 month ago

Hi Jayne!

I'm sorry it was so unclear. Here's the thing - he recoiled - he drew back - he was the ball of barbed wire - so in the process of retracting - the damage occurred! lol Hope that makes it clearer! THanks Boni