NATURE

And as I have noted before, your work really comes alive when spoken aloud. I did have a few of suggestions that I believe may improve the flow in some spots. Line three, I 'm thinking "bedlam" instead of uproar mostly because of how uproar shares similar but not complimentary sounds with "heard" In line 10, you are a syllable long and although this is not critical, by remove "the" from before "fence" I get a wilder feel to the line that I like. Now, line 15 is a syllable long but I love the line and expedition is the perfect word and I do not, at this time, see any words that are not essential so I will note it but believe it works without an artistic problem. "Bog" would fall flat and "peat" would not give enough of a description. I make this fuss because I wanted to point out that breaking the rules, when you know them, can be just as important as following them. For line 20 I would for "victory" to 2 syllables via "vic'try." This is a case where common pronunciation allows for either 2 or 3 syllables and since your intent is 2, don't let your reader screw it up. Line 21 is another case of being a syllable long and I tried removing the word "All" which satisfied the syllable count but killed the feel and, after much head scratching I thought the problem might be the word "have." It seemed too passive for the rest of the right so I am going to suggest you ignore the exact syllable count and replace "have" with "own" in this line. it is a more direct word and presents the habit as a choice rather than a circumstance, thus further justifying the foxes' end. With line 23 I am stumbling on the words "chickens" and "ducks" in such close proximity and would suggest "poultry" rather than "chickens" just to smooth out the line. But as I mentioned, this is a solid story and scans very well when read aloud. --Jonathan Annoying the world, one person at a time (Group discounts available)

Great poems, your stories put a spell on me everytime. Greeneyes

Loved this one you make it hard to crit you know lol thanks for sharing this one love and hugs JayCee ("Quote:-For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.-Ivan Panin")

Really, Ian? Foxes kill more than they eat? I did not know that. I, however, can not fathom all that killing humans do, as far as I know, we've not cannibals except for the occasional Jeffrey Dahmer. I much enjoyed your poem....quite a modern-day parable of sorts. And didn't England ban fox-hunting recently? ~A "The plain man is familiar with blindness and deafness, and knows from his everyday experience that the look of things is influenced by his senses, but it never occurs to him to regard the whole world as a creation of his senses." ~ Ernst Mach

Passionate as I am about the balance of nature, the fox took 3 lots of my chicken ...I eventually gave up and enjoy the odd glimpse of them now as fellow wildlife...chickenless. I find it interesting that in Mongolia the fox is viewed differently and is seen as a protector of babies , not the thief and killer we view it as...culture or nature ...hmmm a question I think Tam. Loved the poem and the story format. Seabhac

I don't think we know our own mettle until we're forced into a position where we are *tested*. I'll never own a firearm since it's not a *generational* thing and my best friend was shot and killed (no one knows for sure if it was self-inflicted, accident or someone let her bleed to death.) I was almost accidentally shot when I was playing a *joke* on my x. And I went through periods of vegan lifestyle when I was forced (my own) to consider how animals are slaughtered. However, there is no animal more cunning and dangerous than the human, two-legged kind. You just never know what's on his/her mind until it's sometimes too late. ~Anna "The plain man is familiar with blindness and deafness, and knows from his everyday experience that the look of things is influenced by his senses, but it never occurs to him to regard the whole world as a creation of his senses." ~ Ernst Mach