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D

The Female Idol:

You have breathed the breath 
                              of love in me
and in my heart you have 
enclosed the word Layli.
To remove it would to be extricate
the covenant you have made
something from which i would
not be extricated on pain of death.

To remove it would be to remove
                                           my heart
for i would die without it
and i fear i wish it would be so.

God has punished me
for i have placed an idol in my
                                              soul.
Not an idol of gold or some trinket
of brass nor some crude metal
but an idol of etheric beauty and
                          her name is Layli.

and i fear she will never be parted
                                               from me

.

 

— Dalton, May 03, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: The Celestial River

Favorite Poets: Shane MacGowan, Dylan Thomas, Qays ibn Al-Mulawwah, Wallada bint al-Mustakfi, Rumi, Khalil Gibran, Yona Wallach, Arthur Rimbaud, Paul Eluard, Brendan Behan, James Clarence Mangan, William Blake, Tom Waits, Charles Bukowski, Forough Farrokhzad, Thomas Chatterton

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Critiques

R

raskin

16 years 1 month ago

Lovely poem. For the title

Lovely poem. For the title think about breath. Breath is life, living. It seems to me to be a big part of this poem. Just a thought. raskin
Seren

Seren

16 years 1 month ago

Dear Dalton

there is a poignant beauty to this one ... for your title I think Raskin has a great idea breathing a lament lament of breath will think of a few others and add as I think of then love and hugs JayCee ("Quote:-For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.-Ivan Panin")
theladyblue

theladyblue

16 years 1 month ago

Dalton...

this, as all of your work, is stunning...I think 'idol heart' would be nice...just a thought <3 Emarie "i read you and see…that between the pen, paper and you…there is little room for me…" ~ heart breaker~ Go Live & Get Rewarded!!! Check us out at http://www.neopoet.com/forum/20761 & the Community Calender!!!