Fissure

I ponder
was this there
just yesterday
I swear

this mirror declare
that the fairest
is the farthest

and now the milk
cracked imperfection
in my early morn
detection

is it just a dream deflection

am I slipping in the now
like sleek finned swimmers
at the bow
their joyous cries in
multitude

or should I saddened
run and brood

that lifes now aged and pain
stilled
like my cornflake bowl now
half filled
and the milk thats now
done gone and spilled

on the happy paper
and the news
now dreary cream
and grey

unlike my happy day
and now Im late
I now type away

away

— Esker, Apr 29, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: north ontario, CAN

Favorite Poets: Klo , .., Ida, .., Rhiannon1010, .., Pleiades, .., Valryianne, .., Ester, .., Stephanie, .., Emina Smajevic, ..., Elefentee, ..., Sommer Lyn, ..., Jasmine, ..., Rula, ...

Critiques

Esker

16 years 1 month ago

this is for

all the half notices like forgetting to shut off the kitchen tap when the drain plug is in leaving the stove on and running out the door looking in the mirror and wondering "I never saw that guy before" (those whom are aging can relate well) or perhaps driving away for the race commute thinking.."Gee that rear tire looked down" just some humour or my kind anyway in this fun poem Esker~

raskin

16 years 1 month ago

Your writing is really

Your writing is really interesting. Good on the first pass by but on subsequent readings there is a depth that unfolds. It's all in the words and phrases you choose. I like this one, my suggestion though would be to add some of what you wrote above to bring out more of the humor. As is it is very subtle the humor and comes through after a few readings. I like that but I also like obvious too. I find your poems a pleasure to read. I have to laugh I have left the house with the coffee pot on and other things. raskin

Esker

16 years ago

wry with rye

I loved intellegient people who played who flexed their minds I loved their sleek delivery the clues and questions My father was very humorus and quick with wit and mother was adept and fast minded I am their child of children to free verse random is so extreme pulling memory into line to rhymne is something I can do and yet struggle so this I leave to the professionals here although hip hop and rap I am inclined to be mesmerized at the speed of some must be getting along now some prevailing mission runs to the Burger Joint is required A mountian bike jaunt in the perfect evening "life in complex design is placidly pleasurable" Esker~

pleiades

16 years 1 month ago

not a favourite of mine by a

not a favourite of mine by a long shot maybe i'm missing something... some nuance that escapes my understanding this to me, seems as if it's a writing exercise...i don't feel the usual emotional impact that your work carries. rather, i feel this to be a deliberate write perhaps i'm just not used to rhyme from you? perhaps not the sometimes rhyme throughout this, doesn't flow as naturally as your free thoughts i have no doubt that i'm probably the lone salmon swimming upstream in my opinion of this, but i must be honest with you my poetic friend...it doesn't sway me there are lines that i think are good...worthy... but in the main, i cannot feel you and you have spoilt me...i am used to feeling you in your writes all i have said does not mean that this is not well written...it's just for me, you are capable of so much more your friend p.

Esker

15 years 10 months ago

In my rhymne

I see I have made you swim upstream I shall soon give another and you can feel the current supple on your scale of thoughts

Esker

16 years 1 month ago

Ohhhh

Pleiades......what can I say this was a fun write perhaps Im not that great at ryhymne See good teaching study of the craft makes for good rhyming maybe not good poets but technical perfection is appreaciated as well as that "it" that is so elusive I didnt realize people were spoiled by the one style Now I am more challenged to do more of these but In the meantime the free flow verse untamed shall have to suffice it is my vice Esker~ :)

pleiades

16 years 1 month ago

you know what i think of you

you know what i think of you as a writer, for my money, you are the best here. if you were published, i'd buy every book i hope my words didn't sound harsh or hurtful because that is not at all what i meant even when you write something that doesn't resonate with me, it's still good writing i love your flow of thoughts. when i read you, i feel as if i'm reading your intimate thoughts laid bare in poetic grace, and i think that's a huge strength of your writing this felt much more controlled and structured, as if it was written to 'fit' nothing wrong with that in the slightest... just not my taste from you yes, i do feel spoilt in terms of being fed by your writing... you are so freaking good a diet of esker is a rich diet... it's a wonder i'm not a fat cow! your friend p.

Esker

16 years 1 month ago

Hah you have made me laugh

Maybe I just dont like the old style having grown up on that Free verse is wild and yet so in that freedom is there the clause of impressionism words painted I dont know now Im laughing at this makes no sense I love it when you tease okay Ill write free verse but every now and then plunk in a fit verse or two thank you for that Esker~