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Lightning in the Dark

Lightning illuminates the darkness
Lightens everything dim.
Makes everything a white starkness.

The tree doesn't look harmless,
Making a scary face with a limb.
Lightning illuminates the darkness.

So frightened, off the horse falls the marquess.
The thunder booms, the lightning cracks on a whim,
Makes everything a white starkness.

The little boy is not fearless,
His mom calming him as it flashes next to them,
Lightning illuminates the darkness.

The storm rages on regardless,
Flashing its lethal blasts near a gym,
Makes everything a white starkness.

The storm leaves as a gift from the goddess,
But showing its power still, so grim..
Lightning illuminates the darkness,
Makes everything a white starkness.


— Starry_Nights, Apr 27, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

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Critiques

Beauregard

Beauregard

16 years 1 month ago

Is this a villanelle

for the April contest, Lover of Starr? If so, the second line of every stanza needs to rhyme with "dim". The first line of the last stanza should also rhyme with "darkness". If your entry doesn't fit the exact form then it gets disqualified. We don't want that happening! This should help: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Villanelle I love your imagery! Dark poetry is my favorite :) Kelsey
Starry_Nights

Starry_Nights

16 years 1 month ago

oh wow i guess i didn’t

oh wow i guess i didn't quite catch that when I was reading up on the villanelle, thanks for telling me! And yeah, it is for the contest :)
M

magics02

16 years 1 month ago

Love it guy Love it

You did better then me with the vanelle jelly. LOL Kudos to you and good luck!! I think I shall try another one!! Hurry hurry May 1st is coming Love, Magics02 Mona TIME well spent is TIME well lived
Starry_Nights

Starry_Nights

16 years 1 month ago

Thanks

Wow my first 5 star rating on Neo I believe! and I'm working on another one right now... according to one of my "official reviser" (actually just my best friend) it lacks passion. So I'm starting from the ground up on a new one :) -Jon "Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies." ~Aristotle
M

magics02

16 years 1 month ago

Good job star!!

And have to say I love your quote really well here. “Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.” ~Aristotle I will look for your nest vanelli jelly are you having fun doing it and if you are then it makes it all the more worthwhile. You go Star Man!! Love Magics02 xoxo TIME well spent is TIME well lived
Beauregard

Beauregard

16 years 1 month ago

Still missed

the second line on stanza six! "Contains" doesn't rhyme with "dim"! How about something like "But no one will forget it's power, so grim"? Glad I could help! Kelsey
Starry_Nights

Starry_Nights

16 years 1 month ago

Wow

Wow I feel stupid for missing that lol... ok thanks!
Beauregard

Beauregard

16 years 1 month ago

Lol

don't feel stupid. I missed a rhyme on one of my entries and if someone hadn't pointed it out I would've never known! The line should have rhymed with "skin" and I wrote "slowing"! Talk about stupid! XD Kelsey
Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 1 month ago

In any case, good work U2.

In any case, good work U2. Much enjoying your repartee of learning and teaching. Thank you. ~A "The plain man is familiar with blindness and deafness, and knows from his everyday experience that the look of things is influenced by his senses, but it never occurs to him to regard the whole world as a creation of his senses." ~ Ernst Mach