Life's Guarantee Lightens Our Way

I am just learning the villanelle myself and i will be judging the competition so please dont see my lack of stars as anything wrong with it .. I am not giving stars to any I am judging to be fair at the end of the month ... I will come back after I have finished a villanelle and make sure I know what the hell I am talking about before I make a detailed comment but what I see here I like so far so good love and big hugs JayCee x x x ("Quote:- Death is the great adventure beside which moon landings and space trips pale into insignificance. Addison Joseph")

the rythm is steady and the structure is on. enjoyed it very much. read it three times before even thinking of a comment. beautiful!!

dont know anything about villanelle you speak of light of life and hope and most of all love cant go wrong nice m

Sunshine brings out the best of us and this lovely poem certainly lights the way...great write Mona Rosina xena465

Dear Mona, Lovely poem and your right the sun makes all the difference! shirley harrison

Ann of Norway I began to feel myself on a roundabout, spiralling like smoke into the ether of the morning light, revolving and revolving and revolving and mesmerised by the slight dizziness it made in my mind; if this is what is required of a 'villanelle' of which I have never heard, then you achieved your aim of hypnotic powered verse. Good to see you back here again Mona of Florida, I think you must have tasted some of the strange plants in the Everglades this time? Yours with love Ann. P.S. Oh blimey Ephy your comment make me feel even more dizzy!!!

lines 6, 12 and 18 should be the exact same line as line 1. Lines 9, 15 and 19 should be the exact same as line 3. Then lines 1, 3, 4, 6, 7, 9, 10, 12, 13, 15, and 16 should all be words that rhyme with "day. Then lines 2, 5, 8, 11, 14 and 17 should all rhyme with time. I'm afraid to inform you that entries that do not fit the Villanelle form exactly will be disqualified. I hope you can fix this soon enough! It's a lovely poem that deserves consideration in the contest! Kelsey

lines 6, 12 and 18 should be the exact same line as line 1. Lines 9, 15 and 19 should be the exact same as line 3. Then lines 1, 3, 4, 6, 7, 9, 10, 12, 13, 15, and 16 should all be words that rhyme with "day. Then lines 2, 5, 8, 11, 14 and 17 should all rhyme with time. I'm afraid to inform you that entries that do not fit the Villanelle form exactly will be disqualified. I hope you can fix this soon enough! It's a lovely poem that deserves consideration in the contest! Kelsey Oops! It looks like my computer stutters!

and your smile would light up any day. I am like some of the above, and can't comment on the disciplin but love the words. Regards Roscoe..

Bravo....very nice...keep your light on... Life's troubles are keeping me way to busy... People I at one time I trusted with my Life ... are stabbing me in the back and stealing from me. PeAce Later8^(

If it's okay with you, I'd like to just show you what you're poem should look like: Awakens the light, new morn of day Shining upon earths space in time Life’s guarantee, lighten our way Thankful for work, then some play Feelings of warmth, the sun shines Awakens the light, new morn of day No sights of rain, nor clouds of gray No feelings of naught entwined Life’s guarantee, lighten our way For eyes half opening, morn of day For showering amongst, us all in line Awakens the light, new morn of day Beckon upon us, the morning rays Placidly forever, heating our life time Life’s guarantee, lighten our way What other stories, the sun displays To love, to share, to be entwined Awakens the light, new morn of day Life’s guarantee, lighten our way (I put the two lines that still weren't quite right in bold) You really hit the mark with this one! It's so warm and uplifting! The rhyme and repetition really add some zest to the poem too! Kelsey Phew, I'm all tuckered out on Villanelle, how about you?

Hi Mona, Very inspriational. I liked it alot, I missed all the fun in helping you with your pattern. Sorry. But looks like Kelsey and others did a great job! As for if Kelsey can help you, of coarse she can. she is not a judge and she is in it, which doesn't help her to help you. She is fine giving you advice Ms Mona. I think she thinks along the lines of, good competetion and helping other poets comes over the mnthly contest. I do. Been having lots of fun with Kels, and the others. You too now! Villanelles are not easy but very satisfiying aren't they! Julie D.D.