Kailashana

Apr 23, 2010 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

Self-Deception

there's no use crying over spilled milk
when your hair is on fire,
you're on foreign soil anyway,
just dig a little deeper
for the truth
you think
is there somewhere, you just misplaced
it when you were a dog or a god
squirreling it all away
and you reach the end of the magician's rope
to the sky
still climbing the truth that can't ever be lived,
the one that sets you free:

there is no such thing,
and then you fall
again.

— Kailashana, Apr 23, 2010

Critiques

partacidcharm

16 years 3 months ago

those two first lines- wow,

those two first lines- wow, fantastic! great read, very abrupt (which is the effect i think you were going for). your poem is great the way it is, but here are my suggestions... "it’s there somewhere, you just misplaced it when you were a dog or a god" -I would take the 'it' at the beginning of the second line and place it after 'misplaced' and "and you reach the end of the magician’s rope" -I would remove the 'and' at the beginning of the line. m :)

Kailashana

16 years 3 months ago

Thanks for reading and

Thanks for reading and commenting, M... I was vacillating on how to execute those same lines. With your input, I decided to remove the semicolon and change it's to *is*... Also decided to keep the *and*, removing the comma after sky for one continuous train of thought foreshadowing the 3 ending lines. Ordinarily I use little punctuation. ~A Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about. Ideas, language, even the phrase 'each other' doesn't make any sense. --Rumi

mantiscepter

16 years 3 months ago

Magic Rope

This was truly a writing I could be at one with. loved the words the flow, what it means to me is as important as what it meant to you, as you wrote this exquisite, and fun bit of mind teasing treat. Simply Loved It all.. Great work Love John... Mantiscepter.

Kailashana

16 years 3 months ago

A little tongue & rope

A little tongue & rope twisting, a little mind-bending... Glad to see you back, John and more than happy to see you on my page. How's the weather in WA? ~A "The plain man is familiar with blindness and deafness, and knows from his everyday experience that the look of things is influenced by his senses, but it never occurs to him to regard the whole world as a creation of his senses." ~ Ernst Mach

mantiscepter

16 years 3 months ago

tongue and rope

your the light on the page and I,m like the proverbial bug, I just follow the light. John Mantiscepter

Kailashana

16 years 3 months ago

Now, John, you know we each

Now, John, you know we each carry little tiny flashlights with us. ;-) Hugs, Anna "The plain man is familiar with blindness and deafness, and knows from his everyday experience that the look of things is influenced by his senses, but it never occurs to him to regard the whole world as a creation of his senses." ~ Ernst Mach

Seren

16 years 3 months ago

I love those last lines …

I love those last lines ... they dont always have happy endings do they love and hugs JayCee x x x x Quote:- It is a thousand times better to have common sense without education than to have education without common sense.---Robert Green Ingersoll

Kailashana

16 years 3 months ago

Hi my lovely Lady Jayne,

Hi my lovely Lady Jayne, this one wasn't about happy, sad or bad endings, it was about truth. There is no end to truth. Love, Mum "The plain man is familiar with blindness and deafness, and knows from his everyday experience that the look of things is influenced by his senses, but it never occurs to him to regard the whole world as a creation of his senses." ~ Ernst Mach

barbsdad2003

16 years 3 months ago

How ...

cogent, succinct, sharp, refreshing, powerful. And short. All great attributes, I've gotta admit. Appreciate your work, your presence. What else can I say that's not repetitious? I think you know how I feel. Yours, Chuck

Kailashana

16 years 3 months ago

Always pleased to see you,

Always pleased to see you, shoeless, blue on blue on blue, Chuck. Now, I'll just have to squirrel away your astute observation on days when I feel like I'm something special...that always gets me in a whole lot of trouble. ;-) Love and Light, Anna "The plain man is familiar with blindness and deafness, and knows from his everyday experience that the look of things is influenced by his senses, but it never occurs to him to regard the whole world as a creation of his senses." ~ Ernst Mach

Nordic cloud

16 years 3 months ago

Oh you conundrum Anna

Ann of Norway Conundrumming us round you little finger and washing our brains in milk, hanging us from imaginary ropes to reach the goal that is no goal that ends up in the deep of knowledge's own cauldron of understanding, which on closer scrutiny happens to be empty. "The empty vessel" How many see the contents that aren't there? Love to you my wonderful sister Anna. With love from your loving sister Ann.

Ross Hamilton Hill

16 years 3 months ago

liked this

immediate and informal, refreshing, best wishes Ross

manawa

16 years 3 months ago

oh yes you fall

oh yes you fall again chuckled to spilled milk and hair on fire and love the end of the magicians rope to the sky wow still climbing the truth that cant be lived. my kinda cuppa tea cheers m

Hooded Stranger

16 years 3 months ago

Self-Deception

I have spent a lot of time of the recent months reading poetry on Neo and this one, rather new edition, really struck a chord. There are many , many good poems on Neo, but every now and again a masterpiece shows through, and here is one of them. As for the final stanza, exquisite. HS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth and yet nobody sees me".

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